[WORLD ONE] SPEED DATING EXTRAVAGANZA

[spellbindmods]

Who: Participating coven members
Where: The Palai marketplace
When: Day 49
Open/Closed: OTA

[ Any and all who are in the marketplace will find that there is suddenly a mysterious barrier around the marketplace (that may be eerily familiar to some) -- specifically one large portion of the marketplace with a large number of tables and chairs, perhaps purposefully set out for nefarious reasons.

A few Palai are ushering coven members to chairs, and everything seems about normal. As normal as the Palai can be when they're putting on a show anyway. It's not until a sizable portion of the coven members are seated (and also supplied with breadsticks and small shrimp), that things get a bit more bizarre.

Thanks to the power of the Eltos, a small band of energy keeps coven members stuck to the chair (magic can interfere, of course), but that's not the end of it. On each table, next to those delicious smelling breadsticks and shrimp, is a bowl of scraps of papers. Every five minutes, a strip of paper will pop out from the bowl.

If you ask the Palai, they'll be inclined to explain speed dating to you. Asking questions, getting to know a person, then being shimmied off to the next potential mate -- this is made possible by Elto magic yet again, through flying chairs that transport their holder to a new table at standard intervals.

The Palai are extremely invested in this exercise? Will you let them down? ]

[ OOC: In the spirit of speed dating, each character will have a top level. All who want to respond to this top level can with questions from this post, but the threads have to end at 10 comments from each character. After this last tag, the characters can be assumed to have been whisked to a different potential match. You're free to have characters make up their own questions, interact with Palai serving food, etc. ]

Comments

[actus]

[ what he expected: maybe food and easvedropping on the event. probably some laughs and information gathering. what he didn't expect? to be stuck in a chair and unable to leave. well okay then. despite his debonair charm, this could get dicey. there's very little chance of akira taking this seriously.

if you ask him absurd questions, he'll definitely appreciate it. if you try to take this seriously? he is going to deadpan. it's up to you. either way, he is not enthused by any of this. ]

Ah... I see. [ what does he see? who knows. but he's just going to munch on a breadstick. ]

[sealeted]

[Hakuno is also eating a breadstick, and seems more interested in it than him, at least until a scrap of paper suddenly appears in the little bowl.

Hakuno picks it up, looks it over, and chews quietly on her breadstick as her eyebrows slowly rise. After she finishes the bread and swallows, she looks him dead in the eye.]

So, what is your secret sexual fantasy, Pinnokkyun? ...apparently, that's appropriate first-date conversation topics around these parts.

[She eyes him up and down, and takes another breadstick, nonchalantly biting down.]

...'m gonna take a stab in the dark and peg you as a Maid-lover, or something. Is that about right?

[splinten]

I'm not in the market.

[It's sort of rushed out, if still in a monotone. This is a terrible experience and he is flustered, awkward, and unsure how not to critical fail all of his Social Interaction rolls.]

It's pretty fucked up that the exchange of goods and services is a primary metaphor used to describe a relationship that is purportedly pure and beyond all other social bonds.

[He's disserting out of extreme flusteredness, yes.]

[sealeted]

Well, historically, the higher classes all over the world—mine, at least—made it an exchange of 'goods' for 'services'. Brides and grooms, for ties or dowry, bride prices and accords. And, while that's not the case uniformly for any culture, the rulers and politics are what stand out most enduringly in history books. So it leaks into everyday phrases.

[He's disserting to a major History Nerd, so...

Go Dirk?]

So, I take it you just came to see what all the fuss was about, then?

[goodlistener]

[jeanne is actually clutching to her chair, especially after it's just moved (sometimes magic resistance is a problem, and she may be participating in this more for the palai), but that's not the reason she looks so horrified.]

P-Potential mate?!

[someone is having trouble with the big "m" word]

[rootbound]

I don't -- I don't think it's obligatory to -- well, you know. We're just supposed to get to know each other?

[rests his head in his hands briefly; he's not really flustered, just annoyed]

You can probably avoid it if you just make like you're eating every time someone asks you an awkward question.

[thatdamnknight]

[the day started out with flynn walking around and minding his own business. suddenly, he finds his butt in chair and getting told he's the lucky participant of some speed dating fun.

the more the palai explain, the more red his face becomes. his eyes widen at the last bit.]

P... potential mate?!

[that comes out as more a squeak than an actual question. what does that even entail?? and how is dragging strangers in this even remotely appropriate!! but... not going along with it could be seen as rude. flynn flushes more so than before and his discomfort practically radiates off him in waves.]

I... I understand the concept but-- [what does he even say. umm... questions. what's a good question...] What sort of a training regiment do you enjoy? In addition, do you prefer carrying it out in the morning, afternoon or evening?

[nailed it.]

[splinten]

[He can answer that question?? This is a Huge Relief.]

I like to build sparring robots, set them to kill mode, and let them stalk me throughout the day. It's impossible to tell when an enemy might attack. [So it's ... good to be prepared for it!! Yeah this is reasonable.]

Barring that, I prefer a sparring partner who can keep me on the ropes for at least a few hours. Time of day doesn't matter much.

[oneandmikleonly]

[actually Mikleo is having trouble not looking at the EERILY FAMILIAR BARRIER out of the corner of his eye rather than any potential partners, a bit twitchy, though he is doing his best to keep a good game face on and eat a breadstick casually

(also ftr if you're human and not spiritually sensitive you may find yourself just apparently conversing with the breadstick, though the band of energy indicates that there's certainly something stuck in his chair even if you can't see him)]

I'm not sure I've ever--thought about being matchmade?--but this is certainly an interesting cultural experience?

[thatdamnknight]

[he got matched with nothing? ah, wait no. that familiar feeling means... yup, the voice accompanying the air confirms it: mikleo.

interesting is far from the word flynn would use, however... this has to be one of the most awkward experiences of his life. how the palai can enjoy something like speed dating so much is honestly beyond him.]

It is a culture unlike any back in my world. [he pauses thoughtfully] Though I think I've heard someone mention speed dating before, but it sounded decidedly different from this.

[soulcomet]

[Madoka is 100 percent on board with getting to know fellow coven members better, but it isn't until she's stuck in her chair and she's asked a Palai a few more questions that she realizes what's happening, and she just. sits there, bright red, staring at her hands in her lap.]

[dating when you're a magical girl isn't really a thing, okay.]

Um ... Is it okay if we just ... talk like friends, and not about dating?

[p_mortem]

Sure. What do friends talk about?

[ Honestly. Minato's used to the eventual "here is my emotional baggage, good luck" talks, but before that... trivial chatter he isn't sure constitutes friendship. ]

[sealeted]

O-Oh.

[Stuck in a chair, unable to escape until her task is completed... this is rousing some demons she had very resolutely been repressing. How rude. Still, it's all in good fun, probably, and the Palai have been pretty gracious hosts so far... Hakuno inhales slowly and tries to answer the first of the little papers posed as ice-breakers.]

Uh, let's see... being called "Mommy" is... something I never really had the chance to consider, before coming here. But, maybe someday. I'd love to have a family of my own. Not right now, since I'm still... really young. But someday, when I meet the right person, I think it would be really nice.

[fivefingerdeathpunch]

[He's gonna do it. He's gonna be the one to tell her, because Jotaro's been hanging around the wrong sort of people long enough to know what the question is really asking. He tries his best to look disinterested, to make it easier on both of them, but there's only so much to be done there.]

I'm pretty sure they meant, you know... [uhhhh no fuck never mind he can't do this his will is wavering he is a chicken among men they should just eat until the chairs move] In bed.

[rootandbranch]

[Geir dwarfs the chair, which stays located between his two massive foreclaws. he also dwarfs... the table. he can barely keep his head inside the barrier, in fact. after a hurried conversation between several Eltos, it's decided that his dates' chairs will come to him, rather than attempting to move him around -- it's probably better for everyone that way.

despite this, Geir seems very amused by the situation, grinning all over his face and lounging at ease after one swift, sharp-eyed glance at that too-familiar barrier. the grin might have a few too many teeth in it to be entirely comfortable for a prospective partner, but you always meet a few unusual guys on blind dates, right...?]

Oooh, ooh, I can do this! Let's see, "Are you going to eat all that?" That's my favorite question.

[maybe he's not taking this all that seriously.]

[sealeted]

I'm pretty sure that might be the first thing you ever said to me.

[It's okay, Hakuno isn't either, if the small, amused smile she's offering up to him is any indication.

...because he's one of her first friends out here. Not because dragons are automatically out of her strike zone.]

And the answer is no, since I'm going to be moved around a lot. Let's see... What's your favorite color, Geir?

[rootbound]

[Geir might not be mad at this but Vern is, actually growling a little in his throat; he is normal-sized and trapped in a chair and able to feel everyone at the table's emotional reactions and embarrassment on top of his own and honestly, kind of pissy in the way an overstimulated cat would be]

Do you know how to escape magical chairs. That is the most pertinent question here!

[talim]

[ jude can practically feel the seething rage from across the table. it's... a little jarring, to put it lightly. ]

It is a pertinent question, but unfortunately, I... do not.

[ jude sighs. ]

We could spend fifteen minutes plotting a way out and likely failing, or we could just introduce ourselves and agree to play along. It doesn't have to be a real date. I've never even been on a real date.

[potentite]

[Oh sweet merciful god no. Jake can't help panicking and trying to think of what could be the best route out of this.]

I, um— I'm not— taken but, um— W—Well I'm not looking, so, um... maybe... friends...? We can talk about anything you want! Just... please don't get interested in me romantically, I'm begging you.

[He is, hilariously, not being conceited to think this could happen. Back home he literally hadn't met anyone who didn't find him hot and it is traumatizing.]

[p_mortem]

[ "he literally hadn't met anyone who didn't find him hot" <-- understandable tho

Today, Minato's goal is to fill up on bread sticks, not find himself in a relationship, so he's alright with this. The request, though, still make him pause. ]

Romantic feelings aren't really something you can control, though, right...?

[talim]

Uh...

[ jude wrings his wrist with his hand in a nervous gesture and averts his gaze, cheeks flushed a warm pink. this... well, he doesn't know what he expected, but whatever it was, this is the exact opposite of it.

he's never been on a date. a purple talking doll stole his first kiss. why is he here? ]

So... Come here often?

[ an attempt to lighten the mood, but the laugh that follows is terribly, terribly awkward. he sort of wants to bury his head in his hands, but he resists the urge. ]

[thatdamnknight]

[awkward blushing kid meet awkward blushing knight. flynn smiles shakily. he is so not in his comfort zone right now and it shows. his partner being jude puts him at ease somewhat but not entirely. chances are he'll be awkward and uncomfortable up until this nightmare ends.]

Never again if I can avoid it. [if the palai don't drag him into something like this again, that is.] You?

[heartkey]

[ Sora may not be good at romance but after struggling against the magic keeping him in the chair and asking a Palai to explain what's going on (sorry he's never speed dated before okay), he goes a little red in the face. He's at least familiar enough with romance to feel slightly embarrassed over this. At least Donald and Goofy aren't here to make fun of him this time.

As that Palai leaves, he reaches out a little. ] Aw, c'mon, this can't be serious ...! [ Well okay he's officially stuck here so he'll turn to his tablemate a little awkwardly, placing a hand behind his head. ]

Uh ... Hey there.

[ He has no intention of 'mating' with anyone but it's awkward nonetheless!! ]

[actus]

[ oh god hi boar friend. at least he isn't taking this too seriously. maybe. ]

How do you feel about ham?

[ AKIRA.... ]

[songbird_slayer]

...You know, my people choose their wives and husbands by engaging in combat. Tests the reach and flexibility. Can we do that instead? ...No?

[She sighed, rolled her shoulders to give a bit of a show, then slipped her hat upon her lap. Snatching up the question list, she gave it a once-over. A few of them made her snicker. Sexual fantasy... oh my. But who on earth would be brave enough to ask it? She's sitting in a coven of quite a few nervous nellies.

Madhuri helped herself to a shrimp, flicking the tip of a finger against her tongue as the tender tidbit disappeared to an eager-for-real-sustenance stomach, and further pondered her options.]

Well! I'm going to ask random questions for fun, then, dear: How do you feel about women with prehensile tails?

[Black, spiny, very dragon-esque... but her tail peeked up from behind her and wiggled the tip in a come-hither motion to her current date for the evening. Her smile was playful... no, that was edging on predatory.]

[mech_and_mutt]

Wouldja believe me if I said I'm relieved I'm not the only one?

[Maybe not fully prehensile, but his ravenous gorging on the appetizers- FINALLY, something other than that slimy seaweed!- was accented with a flick of his own furry tail.]

What's up with that dating-through-combat thing, anyway? You just fistfight your way to the bedroom or somethin'?

[mapsio]

[Of all the dating Haru thought she would ever do...speed dating certainly wasn't on her bucket list. To be sat down and not even allowed to opt out.

She definitely was in the wrong place at the wrong time today.

But, no reason to take it out on her "matches".]

So...should I start asking questions...or should you? I'm sorry, I wouldn't normally consider this a date.

[Honestly, this was leaving a bad taste in her mouth.]

[talim]

Don't worry about it. It doesn't have to be a date. How about we just call this a chance to get to know each other on friendly terms?

[ jude's smile is embarrassed and bashful, but kind, sincere. he recognizes haru's voice from when they spoke about the barrier, and what an... unfortunate way to meet in person. regardless, he's determined to just make the most of it. ]

Here, I'll start.

[ a pause as he... thinks it over. what are people supposed to ask on dates? ]

Er, what do you like to do in your spare time?

[fivefingerdeathpunch]

[Jotaro Does Not Want To Be Here, but a whole pack of Palai--he saw like five, there could've been more--ganged up on him and wrestled him into a chair. A chair that's probably magically reinforced, given his failure to break it thus far, so now he's just sitting here with his arms crossed and his hat pulled down over his face, absolutely not sulking.]

Whatever, let's get this over with.

[deem]

[All this flying chair, team-building business (because that's what this is, right?) is all well and good, but 9S has a very important question to ask this man. Don't mind this kid wearing what looks like a blindfold over his eyes leaning forward curiously. For all his short stature, it doesn't bridge the space between them at all]

Where does your hat end and your hair begin, Sir?

[Look curiosity killed the cat but that never stopped 9S. Ever]

[sluggard]

[Well, okay, this is the weirdest thing he's had thrown at him yet. Yeah, this is it.

He hasn't exactly made any effort to get away, so he's really got not idea just how stuck he is, but. Eh.

Whatever.]

...You think we can just eat the food instead? I ain't really looking for someone.

[potentite]

[At that, Jake visibly relaxes.] Oh thank god. Yes, I'm on board with this plan. I, uh, appreciate their concern but... really, I am better off flying solo for a bit.

[decipheringeye]

[ The first thing Kosuzu did upon being sucked into a chair was flag down a passing Palai and try to figure out what the heck "speed dating" is. The first part of the explanation sounded like a kind of fun game, but then the words "Potential Mate" showed up, and she realized she was absolutely out of her depth.

Oh no, here comes another person. ]

Hi, sorry! It's nice to meet you, and I don't mind answering questions, but all this "potential mate" stuff is a bit much, so...

[drizzle]

...I didn't really had the intention to find one here any way...

[All said in a low tone of voice once her chair had landed at the table before her. Nike will remain silent for a moment as she tries to figure out the best way to spend the next ten minutes.]

It's nice to meet you too. I'm Nike.

[Her gaze will slowly turn to the other girl with an inquisitive tilt of her head.]

...have we met before? You sound kinda familiar.

[rebells]

[Someone is rapidly turning purple.]

No. No! Absolutely not. I refuse.

[This seems like a wee bit of an overreaction, even considering the fact that they're stuck here. Either way, he's steadfastly refusing to talk to you.]

[rootbound]

[waits for the silence to break...

waits some more...

okay if they don't do something the Palai are probably just going to sit them at this table indefinitely. breaks up a breadstick, leans over a bit, and starts arranging the pieces into a small grid in front of Jay's table setting]

Here, let's just play naughts and crosses until they get tired of keeping us.

[probablynoteren]

[Lenka spends most of his initial time in the chair staring suspiciously at the shrimp and breadsticks; considering the last time he ate at a Palai dinner party, he's understandably a little wary of eating anything else even if the Palai have the best of intentions. In fact, he almost misses their intentions and his current magical bind altogether in his staring match with the baked not-so-goods.

It isn't until he picks one up and looks up, ready to find a Palai to ask about the state of the magical(?) food, that he realizes that the situation has gotten a bit chairy.

He'll throw both the nearby Palai and the person across from him a completely confused look -- presumably they're getting the cliff's notes version of instructions at this point, but...]

... I don't understand their culture. [someone apparently doesn't know speed dating is a universal thing] Is this the price for the food?

[Palai and their favor bartering.....]

[splinten]

I'm pretty sure it's the price for existing.

[Cheery, Dirk.]

[deem]

[9S was minding his own business, hunting around for resources with which to work on various projects when he's ushered to a seat. It takes several Palai with the surprising weight of a small YoRHa unit such as himself, and this halting procession as first one, then two, then three Palai team up to cajole him over to a table might be quite the spectacle to behold.

Once 9S is seated, he immediately tries to pick himself up, only to find that he cannot. He frowns and plants his hands on the arms of the chair, trying once again to shove his way free. However, his body doesn't budge an inch. The huff that escapes him bespeaks his offense, but the Palai have already hurried off.

The table before him provides no hints. Spears of bread and shrimp...?

And then of course, there's the poor soul that's stuck with an android who's been raised on repeated reminders that emotions are prohibited to YoRHa. Although he's often flouted that rule at least outwardly, he's got zero experience in dating, and the wording with which this exercise is introduced leaves him with only one logical conclusion]

What a weird team-building exercise...

[bulletbiter]

[ At least, having a familiar face might help. ]

Are you hungry?

[ Does 9S even eat? ]

[yancat]

[Jumin hates dating. He's sure he's made a list of pros and cons about it once, and not one benefit seemed to outweigh the disadvantages. His father's introduced him to women, but it seems he only knows the same ilk as his mother. Jumin hasn't seen his mother in a while.

... Right, dating. He hates dating. No one ever talks about anything substantial. It's always money, money, beauty, power. No one shows interested in him beyond his possessions, and he doesn't expect people to start now. Still, some people in the coven are interesting enough to get him to put his phone down. (That, and he can't get a compatible signal.)

There's only one thing he needs to know.]

Are you allergic to cats?

[LOOK,]

[akumas]

I am not. Cats are magnificent, despite I have a stronger preference to avians.

[Eva doesn't want to be here either since courting is something that embarrasses him. Good luck trying to ask anything personal from this teenage-looking man.]

Do you own a feline companion?

[akumas]

I refuse to participate in this courting charade!

[Eva's famous last words before he gets bound to a chair and at the table he goes. At least they are provided a meal, but his cheeks are red and he doesn't want to be here so he's just... going to stare at whoever is from of him.]

I will grant you one of your deepest desires if you know a unbinding spell to release me from this trap.

[Let him live.]

[talim]

[ jude rakes a hand through his hair, looking rather exasperated. this whole speed dating thing is really starting to take its toll. ]

Even if I did know a spell to get us out of here, I'm a little skeptical about trusting someone to grant a deepest desire. Just how do you plan on going about that?

[alphonse]

[...

. . .

...Well. Usually the Palai and their attempts to share their culture with the coven are perfectly charming, but sometimes... there are casualties. Al couldn't look more miserable and out of place if he tried.]

What kind of cheap jerk would even want to go on a date like this?

[talim]

[ as terrible and suffocating and awkward as this is... ]

No offense, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone unhappier to be on a date. Look, we can just keep it simple. This doesn't have to be anything more than strictly platonic. Just getting to know each other. Friendship.

[ jude rubs at the back of his neck, his cheeks an interesting shade of red. easier said than done... ]

Trust me, you're not the only one embarrassed. Misery loves company?

[lohengrins]

[ he's not particularly pleased -- these people have always been far too eager, and while percival appreciates the palai's neverending generosity and enthusiasm, there are some things...he can't quite adjust to.

initially, percival wears an expression of frustrated displeasure. after a few minutes or so, it becomes something along the lines of haughty disinterest. ]

These questions are pointless. I would much rather ask what you think an ideal kingdom would entail.

[ he runs his fingers through his hair, now cocking a brow. ]

Go on, answer.

[yancat]

[Now this is the most interesting question by far. Not as dear to him as cats, but just as thought-provoking. Jumin sits tall, smirking in amusement. However, it's not the question alone that brings him near laughter.]

I'm surprised you're alive enough to ask, Percival. Has your stupidity worn off or has the well-cooked food given you a moment of clarity?

[secrowtary]

[ It seems that they're all going to be stuck here for quite a while, which annoys Hibiki a great deal. He could've been doing so many different things right now, magical practice being one of them.

When a strip of paper pops out, he realizes that maybe it's not a complete waste of time. If he can't stand up and walk away, he'll just have to use the resources available here.

That's why, after reading it, he'll make a paper star out of the strip. Shortly after he'll be surrounded by a dozen of these floating in the air. ]

If you weren't forced to come here, what would you be doing right now?

[bulletbiter]

[ Julius has long since passed the point of being able to produce polite dignified conversation. ]

We should be doing more productive things.