[WORLD ONE] SPEED DATING EXTRAVAGANZA

[spellbindmods]

Who: Participating coven members
Where: The Palai marketplace
When: Day 49
Open/Closed: OTA

[ Any and all who are in the marketplace will find that there is suddenly a mysterious barrier around the marketplace (that may be eerily familiar to some) -- specifically one large portion of the marketplace with a large number of tables and chairs, perhaps purposefully set out for nefarious reasons.

A few Palai are ushering coven members to chairs, and everything seems about normal. As normal as the Palai can be when they're putting on a show anyway. It's not until a sizable portion of the coven members are seated (and also supplied with breadsticks and small shrimp), that things get a bit more bizarre.

Thanks to the power of the Eltos, a small band of energy keeps coven members stuck to the chair (magic can interfere, of course), but that's not the end of it. On each table, next to those delicious smelling breadsticks and shrimp, is a bowl of scraps of papers. Every five minutes, a strip of paper will pop out from the bowl.

If you ask the Palai, they'll be inclined to explain speed dating to you. Asking questions, getting to know a person, then being shimmied off to the next potential mate -- this is made possible by Elto magic yet again, through flying chairs that transport their holder to a new table at standard intervals.

The Palai are extremely invested in this exercise? Will you let them down? ]

[ OOC: In the spirit of speed dating, each character will have a top level. All who want to respond to this top level can with questions from this post, but the threads have to end at 10 comments from each character. After this last tag, the characters can be assumed to have been whisked to a different potential match. You're free to have characters make up their own questions, interact with Palai serving food, etc. ]

Comments

[deem]

[9S was minding his own business, hunting around for resources with which to work on various projects when he's ushered to a seat. It takes several Palai with the surprising weight of a small YoRHa unit such as himself, and this halting procession as first one, then two, then three Palai team up to cajole him over to a table might be quite the spectacle to behold.

Once 9S is seated, he immediately tries to pick himself up, only to find that he cannot. He frowns and plants his hands on the arms of the chair, trying once again to shove his way free. However, his body doesn't budge an inch. The huff that escapes him bespeaks his offense, but the Palai have already hurried off.

The table before him provides no hints. Spears of bread and shrimp...?

And then of course, there's the poor soul that's stuck with an android who's been raised on repeated reminders that emotions are prohibited to YoRHa. Although he's often flouted that rule at least outwardly, he's got zero experience in dating, and the wording with which this exercise is introduced leaves him with only one logical conclusion]

What a weird team-building exercise...

[bulletbiter]

[ At least, having a familiar face might help. ]

Are you hungry?

[ Does 9S even eat? ]

[deem]

[Julius is certainly a welcome sight, amid flying chairs that don't let them move.

Although he is concerned to see the race he's been created by at the mercy of magical furniture...]

I don't exactly get hungry, although I can eat.

[bulletbiter]

Do you enjoy eating, then?

[ He'd imagine androids would plug themselves into batteries, or the like. ]

[deem]

Sometimes, I guess. I mean, everyone enjoys a good meal, right?

[And for androids there's really nothing to it but the experience itself, because they don't require it]

[soulcomet]

[suddenly, a tiny pink human!]

It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't use magic to bind you to the chair ... It's like they don't trust us. [of course, they might have good reason not to, if matching up the coven is their goal. if she could, Madoka would be escaping back to the house immediately.]

[deem]

[A distinctive pink human!

9S palms the back of his neck, glancing at the others captured in this...whatever it is...before he turned his attention back to her]

Well, I can't say I'd be sitting around like this if given the choice.

[If he's being entirely honest]

Would you, Ma'am?

[Yes, even Madoka gets a ma'am]

[soulcomet]

[this is the first time Madoka has ever been called ma'am in her entire life, and she is now even more distinctively pink. and perhaps flailing internally.]

I — Well, if it were just about meeting new friends, then maybe ... But I don't — I'm not —

[pull yourself together, Madoka.]

I've never even been on a real date before ... I don't think this was such a good idea for me.

[deem]

[It sure seems to 9S that a lot of people here are pinker than he's accustomed to. Maybe something's going around...

So he thinks, until she mentions dates.

And then he's sitting up straighter, watching her in confused silence for a few moments as he processes this]

I uh... [Date? With a human? He clears his throat] I don't think it counts, when it's somebody like me.

[decipheringeye]

[Here comes a human in a flying chair!]

Team-building? I thought this was about romance.

[deem]

[He really wants to know how the Palai can make flying chairs but not flight units. This is ridiculous]

Romance? [9S surveys their surroundings] This looks more like that Old World game of musical chairs to me...

[decipheringeye]

I mean, I asked one of the Palai, and they mentioned something about finding potential mates, so...

[deem]

Isn't that a way to refer to comrades too? I remember reading about it...

[He could swear that was the case]

[teratias]

I...well. I guess you could read it that way.

[Waver's sort of just given up protesting this thing, and is resigned to being whisked around by magical chairs until he's free. There's nothing to be done besides be deeply angry after all is said and done, and until then he can at least bitch with whoever is unfortunate enough to be sharing a table with him.

He's only seen 9S around, so there's a little bit of value in this: talking to newer coven members.]

Definitely better than the actual intentions.

[deem]

...Actual intentions?

[Color 9S puzzled. But then, he's having a tough time thinking of any alternative purpose to confining them to chairs and sending them flying from one table to another. He's reminded of something he read about an Old World game, but he doesn't think it's quite right, or quite the same.

Mostly the magic part. Pretty sure that wasn't a thing]

What else would they expect to get out of this? Unless they're testing some weird strategy to deal with the Uvi...

[teratias]

Uhm. [How...how does one explain this? Waver sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose to buy himself a few seconds.]

It's about romantic compatibility, basically.

[deem]

...Isn't that like expecting something organic to come out of something inorganic?

[For what 9S understands from an outsider perspective, knowing such things to be prohibited to him as a YoRHa unit, he doesn't imagine one can force a romantic relationship. Bonds he understands. Connecting with people he understands.

If that's the goal of this, isn't it a little too contrived to be effective?]

[drizzle]

By "weird", you mean "creepy", then I guess it could be one way to look at it.

[All said with the intent of directly hurting the feelings of their forceful and manipulative hosts. She still felt bitter by it all. Whoever was her current table companion may be the true unfortunate soul as she had a penchant of plotting the worst escape attempts to date.]

....I take it you were tricked into this too?

[deem]

...Three of them shoved me into this chair.

[He huffs, no more appreciative of their hosts' efforts than she is. The Palai mean well, he's sure, but he's trying to help them. That's not something he can achieve if he's confined to a chair like this]

Thought they'd give up at first, but more kept coming...and here we are.

[What about this is so important? 9S doesn't understand]

[drizzle]

What!? They forcefully shoved you into a seat!?

[That bit of information was more than enough to get a reaction out of her. Not just any ordinary reaction, but her full attention to go along with it. When she notices the one sitting across from her looked like a kid with beautiful hair and skin color, but wearing a very familiar item over her eyes, she’ll slam her hand on the table as she yells at any Palai in range.]

How dare you push someone against their will! A kid, no less! You should be completely ashamed of yourselves! How would you feel if I treated your children the same way!? I bet you won’t like it one bit!

[It was clear she was beyond furious before returning to her seat, leaning back on her seat with a weak smile forming to the boy.]

Sorry. I didn’t frighten you with my outburst, right? I’m sorry they did that to you. I really shouldn’t have much room to complain.

[deem]

[It's startling to 9S to see someone so adamant on his behalf outside of a combat situation, but not for the reasons one might expect. That a(an apparent) human is this angry over anything to do with how he's been treated is almost surreal in its way, and he's stock still until she seems to relax somewhat.

And then he's lifting both gloved hands to wave that concern away like smoke. An android like him isn't worthy of such concern, though he's touched by it all the same]

I'm not a child, just an android, so that's not really necessary.

[There's a reason it took three Palai; he weighs over twice what a human his size ought to]

[shadowsthedawn]

[Riku had been seated before 9S and got to enjoy the spectacle of the Palai attempting to guide the android to his seat. At least he's being paired with someone he knows. He has not intention of viewing this as an actual dating attempt, so he'd preferred not being forced to make conversation with a stranger.

Also it's amusing that 9S seems to be even more clueless about this situation then he is.]

It's not team-building. It's the Palai's mating season and they're hoping we'll participate. [He frowns a bit.] They should mind their own business.

[deem]

Their-

[He chokes on whatever sentence might've followed, immediately uncomfortable with the thought. Not only is he physically incompatible with such objectives, but the idea that he'd be suitable for any member of the human race is just...just...

No.

That pedestal is far too high for him to presume to climb up on. This is notionally wrong for so many reasons. He wipes his consternation away, dragging his hand down his face]

I can't believe they're involving an android like me in something like that.

[shadowsthedawn]

[Yeah...so the android does not seem to be taking this well. Which, Riu can't exactly blame him. He would rather not be in this situation either. But 9S seems to be in actual distress.]

Hey. They can't make us do anything more then sit here and stare at each other, okay? There's nothing you need to worry about.

[As for the android bit...well it's clear the Palai are all kind of just assuming all the coven members have the right anatomy for this sort of thing. Or maybe they're more interested in the development of romantic interest and not necessarily physical interest.

...It's hard to say.]

I don't think they got the memo about your android-ness. And I don't think they care.

[deem]

I've explained it to them so many times...

[And yet it seems that Riku is right. All of that information appears to have fallen on willfully deaf ears. There's something distinctly frustrating about that, and he huffs out a breath as he folds his arms across his chest.

He's more than happy to explain, but being ignored like this is ridiculous. The Palai didn't even have a conception of what androids were until he came along, and he'd answered so many, many questions...]

Androids aren't appropriate partners for humans.

[Rather, they're unworthy. So says his core programming]