spellbinders | [WORLD TWO

Entry tags:

[WORLD TWO | INTRO LOG]

Who: All coven members
Where: In and around the new world’s apartment building where the coven is staying
When: Day (the calendar isn’t syncing for me hELP)
Open/Closed: Open to All

You’re in a room. It’s pretty bright — blindingly so, even. There’s something very stark and very clean about the place, and also the person you’re sitting in front of. You’re sitting? You’re sitting. There’s also a pane of very powerful plexiglass separating you from the uniform-clad person who is now speaking to you.

It’s impossible to transcribe what they say verbatim, but here’s the gist of it:

- You’re being welcomed to a city called Shehui. Depending on who you are, the level of technology may be light years ahead of you or child’s play.
- There’s a very strict policy about magic. While there are measures put in place to prevent magic from happening, this is still something that they reiterate over and over. They don’t want to take chances.
- Crime is also frowned upon. Small infractions will result in credit deductions, while major crimes will get you banned. Antisocial behavior is also looked down upon. You’re locked in the city for your initial eight weeks. You can leave afterwards, but trying to break out of the city or cause social unrest will result in monitoring and a potential ban.
- This city is supposed to be somewhat relaxing. Is it a free pleasure cruise? No. Is it a self-contained society that runs on community and indulgence? Yes.
- You’re being given an allotment of credits in order to stay in the city, which is what the economy there runs on. This goes on for quite some time.
- You’re being moved to a housing location. Despite the slotted speaker in the middle of the plexiglass, the only time you have a chance to ask questions is when a small slit opens in the bottom and a package is slid towards you.
- What’s in the package? There’s a credit card-like apparatus that has apparently taken a picture of you. It contains a place to write your name, an identification number and barcode. It also has a thin strip near the top that has scrolling script floating by. It states “WELCOME TO SHEHUI. YOUR ID WILL UPDATE WITH COMMUNITY NOTICES AND PERSONAL PINGS FOR JOBS AND VOLUNTEER OPPORTUNITIES RELATED TO YOUR INTEREST.” It’s a lot to take in, but that’s the long and short of it.

Have questions? The person will reiterate a few times that there are information desks around the city. That’s all for now…now you’ll be traveling to your next destination: your new home.

The floor slowly lowers as if you’ve been in an elevator the whole time. It connects to several other glass containers, much like your own, all suddenly clanking together in a chain. After a short wait, the chain begins to move — quickly. Faster, maybe, than you’ve ever gone before. It’s hard to even make out the scenery when you’re zipping past everything so quickly.

Where does this trip lead you? The ground floor of your new apartment building. The plexiglass cases open up and you’re in a hotel lobby. There’s a flashing board on the wall — NEW ARRIVALS, COME HERE.

The apartment building is locked up tight for three hours in order to let new arrivals get their bearings. After that, the ground floor lobby doors open into the city of Shehui. There’s a lot to take in, but let’s cover the biggest bases:

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh, great, he set off the dragon. Dirk raises his hands, the signal to chill the fuck down. He forces himself to calm down, too. Everything is fine, no one needs to get stressed out. No angry dragon.]

Nothin' wrong, dude. Just going for a bit of a jog.

[This is convincing and everyone should believe it.

I mean, the monotone is probably actually calm-sounding, so there is that for Dirk's case, but.]

[Geir doesn't miss the context of Dirk's request. he's reacting to something in the environment around them, and he doesn't want Geir's behavior to escalate the threat. so Geir does visibly assume the appearance of calm, at least to the extent that he folds his wings and covers his teeth where a snarl had been beginning.

but Dirk's response is also bullshit, and Geir's confident enough on that one to call him on it. he's seen panic before, and that was it. his eyes narrow, and he stands with all four legs planted firmly.]

You're lying. Come here.

Well, yeah, jogs are for people who wear yoga pants, but the first part was true.

[...technically. He does come closer to Geir, and at least Dirk is clearly calming down here. After all, Geir is familiar, and only one person. He is a very BIG person, but he is still just one. He is not a crowd of strangers following rules Dirk finds familiar but can't quite understand.]

[Geir waits till Dirk is close enough, which probably takes less time than Dirk anticipates, then takes the matter out of his hands. he reaches out and scoops Dirk up (gently, he isn't trying to break any nerds here) to deposit within the circle of his coils as he curls up, instead.

the idea has the same general "escape" principle as hiding up a tree, but the overall effect is something more like overlooking the surrounding territory from behind the ramparts of some enormous fort, which happens to be constructed out of a snake. standing on Geir's back and side boosts Dirk considerably above the ground, but Geir's body also makes a solid wall between Dirk and the outside world. Geir isn't the dragon attacking the castle. he's an instant castle-in-a-box all on his own.

as a fortress of solitude it has only one drawback: the part where the fortress is made of Dirk's concerned dragon friend, who is currently sticking his head between two of his own coils so he can keep an eye on the current snake fort population.]

I wasn't talking about pants. There. What happened?

[Dirk seeming to calm down is reassuring, but Geir wants details.]

[It is a surprisingly effective fortification. Dirk has to take a moment to appreciate that—the moment coming after his protesting "Hey!" at being dragged around like a puppet—in terms of height advantage, defenses, and of course mobility vis-a-vis a dragon flying the fuck off when overpowered by enemy troops. Really excellent.

Except, you know. The poking curious dragonface.]

There wasn't any thing that happened. There was just a city, which I was in and decided I wanted to be out of.

[And it overwhelmed him and he panicked and dashed to safety.

A pause, and then,]

You're going to keep pressing until I come out with it proper, huh.

[He isn't mad, just acknowledging that Geir is like that.]

[Geir considers the question -- really considers it -- and then makes a tiny affirmative noise in acknowledgement.]

Uh-huh. You let me. And I'm worried. I don't see you scared much.

[huh. sort of a different take on that than the last time that Dirk and Geir had a serious talk. he's had a few heavy conversations since then.]

Edited 2017-11-25 22:42 (UTC)

[It is different, which Dirk focuses on. Dirk lets Geir. So he really is learning about backing off and assessing people.]

I wasn't scared. [Dirk is adamant about this.] I'm not accustomed to cities. Large crowds and an unfamiliar system of rules that organize them are a new experience to me.

[an experience that scared him]

[oh-- that was a tremendously reassuring exchange. if Dirk implicitly agrees with Geir's assessment of himself by not challenging that "you let me," that means Geir is right, and even if Dirk seems uncomfortable, he doesn't truly mind being grilled when Geir is confused or concerned. it's a huge relief... not only does it mean that Geir's people-judging skills are starting to develop, but he also doesn't need to hold back for fear of alienating one of the few relationships where he's confident in being brutally honest.

that's why he feels confident enough to say:]

Why don't you want to say you were scared?

[All of this is true.

But also it makes him put his face in his hands.]

There are certain kinds of emotions that people don't like to openly admit to, because of how those emotions can be said to define them or reflect on their character. Fear is a pretty universal one.

That's especially true when you're an idiotic, awkward loser who is getting upset about something as basic and commonplace as a city street. I can go head to head with thirty robot drones sent to kill me, but put me on a non-violent street corner with unspoken rules of traffic and I have a fuckin' panic attack. Like, shit, that tells you what kind of cool badass I really am.

[Yet he explains it, because Geir needs explanations for things, and Dirk still thinks he deserves to get them from someone who will actually tell him things as they are, at least from Dirk's perspective. It's why he decides to clarify, so Geir does actually understand.]

In other words, I didn't want to tell you because I'm not supposed to freak out about talking a stroll down a sidewalk.

Edited 2017-11-25 23:21 (UTC)

Oh. That makes sense.

[it makes sense, and it could potentially be a helpful window on some of his own behaviors and tendencies... not to mention some of the past encounters and conversations he's had about fear. Geir tucks that idea neatly into the back of his head to consider later. for now, the conversation he's in at this moment is more important.]

I don't think you're supposed to do anything. I'm scared all the time about all the rules I don't know. That's why it's so nice of you to explain things to me.

You're not a coward, Dirk.

[No, let's go to the hypothetical question. This one is uncomfortable.]

Not to be contrary, but you haven't been exposed to most of the worst fuck-ups of cowardice and arrogance that I've managed to enact over my relatively short lifespan so far. [Well.] Not directly, anyway. [Since, as Geir has met Jake, he has in fact seen the effects of such a thing.]

That isn't really the point. Or if it is, there's also a second point such that the sum of the distances to the two focal points is constant for every point on the orbit of this conversation. The point is I'm uncomfortable with people knowing when I'm scared. [Ugh. How to explain this to Geir while also wrestling with his own unwillingness to admit too much of certain failings. (Other failings he has no problems admitting.)] I'd prefer it if I were seen as competent and self-reliant. I also try to be both of those things.

[Geir tilts his head slightly to one side. hm. there's a lot to unpack here. he sort of gets the insecurity that Dirk is displaying in his bones, though, so there's a fair amount of sympathy in his voice rather than just detached analysis when he speaks again.]

If you want me to agree with you about whether you're a coward, you could tell me what you think you've done that's so cowardly and arrogant. Otherwise, I can only judge based on what I know about you, right? Hearing that everything I think about you based on what we've done together already doesn't count because of some stuff I haven't heard yet is really weird, though.

...you being scared doesn't make you seem any less competent to me. And, um, I'm starting to think self-reliance isn't a real thing anyway. So...!

[Dirk considers Geir for a moment.] We can get back to some of that other stuff in a second, since it feels like I should put out a few more explanations and clarifications before we go forward on it. More importantly, why are you starting to think self-reliance isn't a real thing?

I don't think anyone is good at being a person on their own.

Anyway, before you say anything else, you can always come and hang out with me if you're scared. I'm good at making things safe.

[instant dragon fort. he's just saying.]

I noticed.

[Look at that. Look at that fort.]

I will at least concede your point about being a person on their own. I meant more self-reliance of being capable of taking care of yourself. The concept of total self-reliance is of course a fabrication, in that all living organisms require something external to function and sustain themselves. But practically speaking, I raised myself my whole damn life. It's embarrassing to need an assist when it comes to crossing the street.

Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you.

[Geir is penitent. embarrassment sucks. he gets it.]

You can still come and hang out with me, though. And without talking about any other past stuff, just running into something you haven't seen much before doesn't make you a coward either.

[he shifts so he can edge his nose closer to Dirk. confidingly:]

A couple of weeks ago I figured out that I was scared of being bad at reading if I tried it. Isn't that dumb? It's pretty dumb. Of course you're bad at things before you do them... I mean, it's poet-work, too, so I'm still not sure I want to. But that part was stupid.

I embarrassed myself; your heinous crime was being witness to my lame stunt.

[No apology necessary, in other words.]

I mean, yeah, it was stupid, but it is also pretty natural. I know you're going to call me out on the hypocrisy here, but I'm going to just ignore that fact and just say a lot of people get too scared to start things.

For what it's worth, I don't think it matters if you're bad at it or not. You're still cool either way. But I think you're intelligent and quick to learn, so I doubt it would be especially difficult for you to pick up if you had good instruction.

I don't need to call you out on being a hypocrite if you already did! You know I don't care if you think you're being lame. And, thank you. That's nice of you to say.

[Geir changes his position enough that he can settle his head next to Dirk with a little sigh. maybe Dirk will pet him. Geir really is very, very fond of him. he's always so kind about explaining things patiently, even if he's personally unhappy with the topic -- Geir can't imagine why anyone would see him as closed off and uncaring, unless they were too embarrassed to ask him things directly.

when he thinks about it, that might have been it. he's realizing that his own experiences with people show that most of them have appallingly inconsistent responses to direct questioning. maybe asking them is rare.

he wonders if Dirk will go on to explain some of the clarifications and preconditions he wanted to set on the other things that have been alluded to in this conversation, or if Dirk has tracked hard away from that element. it's hard not to notice over time that some of Dirk's meticulous explanations are ways for him to avoid points he doesn't want to touch on. they still shed a lot of light, so Geir doesn't really mind.]

Edited 2017-11-26 16:13 (UTC)

[It's true he's dodging a point here, but he also does like to try with Geir. He feels a sense of... responsibility, to make that effort. Geir is just learning, and he's open and genuinely inquisitive about so much. It would be messed up not to try to support and encourage that.

And then Geir is basically cuddled up. Dirk can take his cue and give Geir's snout a pat. Truly, a lizardcat (dog?)]

Before I say anything else, I'm sorry for making you feel like I was trying to say your feelings about me don't count because of some things you don't even know about. I mean, I guess I was doing that, in a sense. But it's shitty of me to keep pulling that kind of stunt when I know you're trying to work out how things function between people. You work hard on trying to understand things, and I want to help you with that, not make it harder.

[Geir purrs at the petting, a low rumble. Dirk is still being nice, gosh.]

It's all right. I can't really imagine you telling me anything that would make me like you less? It sounds like a bunch of stuff happened, so maybe that's weird for you.

[He still wonders how that works? Then again, do scientist even know how cats purr? He remembers that being a mystery. He remembers Roxy talking his ear off about that particular scientific mystery.]

It was an idiotic amount of stuff. Honestly, it's hard to try to explain it with all the elements going on. A lot of bad things happened, and I caused a number of them, and I tried to run from a lot of it. I didn't want to face the consequences of my actions, or the possibility my friends hating me, or a world where they were all dead. I know that I'm supposed to be brave and a badass and face up to things, and that doesn't just apply to fighting bad guys with a sword. But that is basically the only kind of badass I'm capable of being, which is to say, it's the sort of badass that doesn't really matter or count for much.

So I'm mad at myself for not being able to handle this city, because it's another way that I'm failing to be the kind of person I wished I was. And I'm embarrassed about you seeing it because I get embarrassed by people seeing that I'm not that person.

Does that make sense?

[With the monotone and the calm, it's a weirdly detached way to talk about it all—analytic, self-reflective, but not especially emotional. There's something about trying to explain things to Geir that compels Dirk to take a step back, in the hopes of laying out all the foibles and confusions of human existence to someone who is still trying to learn it.]

[Geir listens attentively to all of that, purring a little under his breath, so Dirk's efforts to lay it all out aren't wasted. when Dirk finishes his speech, he does him the courtesy of thinking about it for a few moments before he fully articulates his thoughts. he wants to make sure they're as clear and well formed.]

It makes sense. It makes a lot of other stuff you've said make sense, too. Like thinking you're broken, or being upset you're not a certain way. I'm sorry. I worry about that stuff too, but most of it is about the future, and it sounds like a lot of bad things happened to you guys already.

...did you have a lot of chances to practice?

It's cool. I'm glad all my neuroses click into place now.

[Irony is also part of helping Geir learn things, clearly. Geir's still getting pats. It occurs to Dirk that this is easier than contact with humans, probably because it doesn't have the same kind of baggage; Geir is a person to Dirk, for all that the philosophy of it may be up in the air, but the social conventions around human-dragon interaction aren't as complicated and messy in Dirk's mind. It seems to him that the rules of this get to be defined by Geir, and that's less stressful.]

With cities? No. That apartment you saw in my dreams was where I spent all but six months of my life. Those six months were spent on empty planets full of various kinds of gravesites, with three other people.

Oh, no. I was pretty sure that you'd never seen anything like this before! I haven't either.

I meant, being the kind of person you wanted to be.

It doesn't seem very easy?

[Ah. It's the type of question that, really, he thinks only Geir would ever ask quite like that.]

I've put a lot of effort into it to very little success. Unfortunately for everyone, I'm myself and can't seem to be anyone else, not even an idealized model of myself that I've always striven to become. I'm not sure if it's easier for other people or not. I think a lot of people never become who they'd want to be, but I'm not sure everyone feels like they missed the mark so badly as to be a total failure.

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