[WORLD ONE] SPEED DATING EXTRAVAGANZA

[spellbindmods]

Who: Participating coven members
Where: The Palai marketplace
When: Day 49
Open/Closed: OTA

[ Any and all who are in the marketplace will find that there is suddenly a mysterious barrier around the marketplace (that may be eerily familiar to some) -- specifically one large portion of the marketplace with a large number of tables and chairs, perhaps purposefully set out for nefarious reasons.

A few Palai are ushering coven members to chairs, and everything seems about normal. As normal as the Palai can be when they're putting on a show anyway. It's not until a sizable portion of the coven members are seated (and also supplied with breadsticks and small shrimp), that things get a bit more bizarre.

Thanks to the power of the Eltos, a small band of energy keeps coven members stuck to the chair (magic can interfere, of course), but that's not the end of it. On each table, next to those delicious smelling breadsticks and shrimp, is a bowl of scraps of papers. Every five minutes, a strip of paper will pop out from the bowl.

If you ask the Palai, they'll be inclined to explain speed dating to you. Asking questions, getting to know a person, then being shimmied off to the next potential mate -- this is made possible by Elto magic yet again, through flying chairs that transport their holder to a new table at standard intervals.

The Palai are extremely invested in this exercise? Will you let them down? ]

[ OOC: In the spirit of speed dating, each character will have a top level. All who want to respond to this top level can with questions from this post, but the threads have to end at 10 comments from each character. After this last tag, the characters can be assumed to have been whisked to a different potential match. You're free to have characters make up their own questions, interact with Palai serving food, etc. ]

Comments

[nockpoint]

[ your partner, sitting on the other side of the table is a little odd. he's refusing to talk, and also, he happens to be a sizeable, and fluffy cat. why is a cat at speed dating? well, see... uh. palai aren't familiar with mammals, i think. if it's got fur and walks and shit, well. gotta belong with the rest of those magic people, you know? and it's so lonely, that should be fixed too! there's zero evidence this is an animal.

also one of them heard him swear. (nothing quite like a cat saying "shit" to make you think he's people!) it picked him up and carried him in here, and sat him down. let's roll, ask the questions, refuse to answer them, cause chaos because we're too stubborn to admit we have an embarrassing power.

"excuse me sir, are you aware that you are a cat"

( note to servants: as a cat, archer cannot be identified as a fellow servant, oh thank god. he'd have to pull a lancer otherwise, the shame'd be too much. ) ]

[dragoness]

[ ...

...


...




look, she might have horns and a tail, but she's not a furry. why is she here, edison should be here. ]

[nockpoint]

[ of course youre not a furry, eliza... the term is technically "scalie" or something, right?









ANYWAY, the cat is ignoring eliza, in favor of staring daggers at the palai that just put him in this seat... punctuated by a brief glance in her direction. ]

[dragoness]

[ you shut the fuck up !!!!

...

she's gonna just.

reach forward.

and throw a piece of shrimp at him. ]

[nockpoint]

[ are you attacking him? rude!!!! but its fine, he has lightning fast cat reflexes!!!!! he'll just smack that shit outta the air!




it falls to the table with a pathetic flop, archer still half reared up onto his back legs, one paw up in front of him... what has he done. no.... this is bad.

he'll just... childishly bat the shrimp back at elizabeth. you can be the halloween shrimp class servant, okay. ]

[dragoness]

[ ... huh, that was weird. that was an impressive hit even for a cat. usually they just don't care until they smell it and they know it's food.

she's going to fling another piece of shrimp at him. ]

[sealeted]

...

[Hakuno stares, and stares. After a moment, she decides to fight fire with fire, and disappears!!

...

Well, not really. After a moment, the Palai scurry over with a small mountain of cushions, scooting in the chair and making a plush, make-shift booster seat for a little squirrel.]

Well, that was a bust.

[She has to wonder if the cat can even understand telepathy.]

[nockpoint]

[ she'll be hard pressed to get an audible, or even a telepathic response out of the cat, as he is very stubborn... though he did watch that whole squirrel-formation and new tower of cushions with a mild, cat-like interest. for some reason, small fluffy things seem... chaseable...

but it's okay, he has a will of wrought iron. he's better than that. which is why he is letting out a little cat sigh, and settling into his seat better, paws pushing into the plush cushion. one ear drifts to the side, and his attention starts to wander — until the telepathic words make their way into his mind.

in the brief moment that he's caught off guard, hakuno catches the feeling of mild irritation and regret archer has for letting himself a) try this stupid shape and b) get caught and dragged into this mess, before he throws up a proverbial mental wall.

he's a normal cat, okay! totally normal! ]

[sealeted]

Normal cats can't do that, you know?

[She's giving him a little squirrelly look of disapproval. Is it too much to even get and explicit "I don't want to talk"?]

[nockpoint]

[ just a bit of cat side-eye in return. he's not listening because he can't hear anything she's saying!!!! or, that's what he's trying to pretend is happening. while he might be able to cut himself out, he definitely can't stop her from talking to him this way.

imagine a little telepathic "read: 4:23pm" receipt at the end. its kinda like that. ]

[sealeted]

[You know what, Archer?

Fine.

Have a tiny raspberry from this tiny squirrel you're not listening to.]

[goodlistener]

Ah...

[well, since he can't be identified as a servant, i guess we're doing this.]

Did someone leave you behind? Did your owner fall out of his chair?

[why is she happy she's dating a cat?]

[nockpoint]

[ takeuchi is an evil man, and has cursed us all with the concept known as "saberface." there's a brief moment when jeanne first sits down where archer's mind immediately goes to the original artoria face, and sits up, more attentive than he's been for anyone else so far. (his paws are even on the table, that's how attentive he is right now!)

but then he catches himself just in time, and doesn't say (or think!) anything at all. there were a few things about her that saved him from disaster: 1. different voice. self explanatory. 2. that weird helmet shit thing she's wearing. absolutely not saber's style. 3. personal... ah... experience, if you will, has granted him a well-informed understanding of... uh.. saber's physique. which is also evidence this woman is not saber.

but most of all, what stops him from saying (or even thinking) something back right away is the fact that he absolutely, above all else, does not want saber (and about five other people) knowing he's a cat. or that he ended up here, in a speed dating cafe, as a cat. just. no thank you...!

so, instead of making any noise like it seemed he was going to, archer just kind of... deflates, with a little cat sigh, and stares down at these stupid little paws he has. he'll just bide his time until he can leave... i guess. maybe get off the table and sit down properly on the little chair they gave him. ]

[goodlistener]

[you can think she has a bigger rack, archer, it's okay]

Oh, are you sad?

[even more surprisingly, the holy maiden is interested in the... probably quite fickle moods of a cat. she tilts her head and frowns with concern as he sighs and seems to bemoan his fate just after taking an interest in her, somewhat obediently returning to the seat of his chair instead. those amethyst eyes of hers are troubled.]

Don't tell me you're depressed... [can cats be depressed?] You might be the most depressed cat I have ever known. The ones on the farm weren't like this...

IM ALWAYS LATE IM SORRY

[nockpoint]

[ well, he can't say anything... but... he noticed. for sure.

[ but there's other questions to be answered. he knows saber's face well, so why does she have it? certainly, there are an infinite number of possibilities within the branches of time, and this place is already a joining of universes, but... still, the likelihood of something like this happening has to be... miniscule.

the pads of his feet knead against the cushion one last time, as he half listens to what this woman with saber's face is saying, her hypothesis about his "depression" (absolutely erroneous, thanks), trying to think. he's getting bored, pretending to be a cat... and every time he tries to nap, one of the palai comes along and wakes him up, worried for his health.

oh, screw it. he's a familiar, right? normally, at least, a human shaped one, but. why not pretend to be an animal one? its not unheard of. shaking his head with conviction, he stands, and hops up on the table, carefully stepping around the food to sit in front of jeanne with a huff, tail flipping back and forth as he looks her in the face. mostly, he wants a better look at her. ]

[drizzle]

[It was strange to be paired with someone so silent. All of her previously paired table companions enjoyed to talk with her, enjoyed to make jokes to help the mood feel less awkward, or were people she had befriended at some point. And yet her new date was quiet, no attempts of anything. It won't be long until her curiosity will get the better of her, raising her downcasted gaze, a sudden saying will catch her attention upon the moment she realizes: there was a cat in front of her.]

...........H-Hah??? What's....this?

[Not just any cat was in front of her. It was a cute, fluffy one too. A very puffy one. It was enough for Nike to use her magic to lightly summon a breeze to watch his fur dance with the wind. Her expression will slowly begin to change from shock to amusement.]

I-I'd never though I'd say this, but....curiosity won't kill you right now????

[Asked all directly to the cat on account of, you know, only having decided to know it's existence due to feeling curious.]

[nockpoint]

[ its gotten to the point that he's getting tired of the "pretend to really be a cat" phase of the day. being a cat is tiresome in a way that his headaches which normally bother him aren't: he's bored. and he can't just nap here, can he? not because it's rude, but because he's actually tried, and a palai pokes him awake every time anyway. no fair.

the wind ruffles his flur and he has to shake the sensation, then gives nike a direct look, definitely not cat-like at all. ]

Don't be ridiculous.

[ holy shit it talks.

(are. are we doing this? have we reached the point of give no fucks?? i guess?) ]

[yancat]

I love you.

[This is it. He's found what he's looking for. Everyone go home.]

[nockpoint]

[ OK NO BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS... the cat across from jumin just kind of. looks up at him after he says this. stares him right in the eyes, with those sharp, grey cat eyes of his own, and blinks in disbelief. is this how people talk to cats? really?

he keeps up the stare-down for a few more seconds, before heaving a little cat sigh, and shifting his gaze up to the roof, as if waiting for god to help him, or maybe a meteor to strike him or something. please. ]

[yancat]

Ah, no. I love you a little less than Elizabeth III, but I can learn nonetheless.

[God is nowhere to be found.]

Can you speak? Do you have a name?

im slow my life is in shambles im so sorry

[nockpoint]

[ screw you, yes he can speak. ]

Are you so uncreative with names that you've used the same one three times?

1/4

[yancat]

[The voice is so unexpectedly deep that Jumin snaps,]

I didn't name her, you fool.

[yancat]

[Wait.]

[yancat]

[Okay, he can't have suddenly gained the ability to talk to animals because Qri said he only had one power. But it wasn't telepathy either, since he's absolutely certain he heard a voice.

Also, hallucinating just isn't a thing he does.

So what the fuck is this. What the fuck.]

it's okay!! i'll wait forever

[yancat]

... Now that you can speak, I suddenly wish you wouldn't.