Mingle: For a limited time only...

[hearsthesea]

Who: Everyone!
Where: Anywhere on the hub
When: Days 134-139
Open/Closed: Open mingle goooo!

[Copper, lizards, and vines - oh my! With the recent installation of 9S and co.'s scanning equipment and the also recent, significantly wetter rainstorms there's quite a lot to check out on the island right now. Plus, the monitor robot still needs a name. You're not going to leave them nameless forever, are you?

Too bad Genette's put out word that everyone's about to be moving location soon. That means these are the last days the coven has for a little while to get everything in order, whether it's to take things to the next destination or to leave them behind. Get your bags packed and your huts cleaned, everyone!]

Comments

[rootandbranch]

[Geir does her one better and shoves his nose under her hands properly. it's not quite a nose hug, because you need active hugging from the other participant for that, but it's the next best thing.]

Vern always says that. I'm just saying what I think, though! You're pretty tough on yourself, Madoka.

[he rumbles under the petting, a deeper and louder purr than any cat has ever managed.]

[soulcomet]

[hey, Madoka knows a hug when she gets one, even if it's more of a nose nudge. she will. try to reciprocate?? and attempt to give him a snout hug.]

You really think so? I don't mean to be. [she knows she's been called out on worrying about being useless, but that's a hard habit to break.]

[rootandbranch]

[yes, nose hugs are absolutely happening then. Madoka has reached a new tier of dragon friendship. Geir's tone when he speaks is warmly affectionate, and he's still purring at the back of his throat. ridiculous.]

Of course I do.

[he asks his next question gently, because he recognizes that it might be a sore spot... but he really does want to know, and something tells him that Madoka won't get offended about him prying.]

Why do you worry so much about it?

[soulcomet]

[ah, that is indeed a bit of a sore spot, but, since he's asked, it's not really something she's willing to brush off. and they had promised to talk earlier, hadn't they?]

[Madoka gives Geir's snout another pat, as if to express that she isn't mad or anything, and pulls away, turning again to face the shore.]

It's ... sort of complicated. [more of a helpless statement than a dismissal of his question.]

[rootandbranch]

...if you don't want to talk about it, I won't ask more? But I really want to know, too.

[is it strange or rude for him to want to know? honestly, his experiences thus far haven't given him a solid answer to that question. with a little sigh, he lowers himself down to the sand, coiling behind and around Madoka like a big, scaly backrest. he's close enough that she can lean back against him if she wants, but not-quite touching, in case she doesn't; she can feel the warmth of his scales there.]

It really seems like it bothers you...

[soulcomet]

Well ... do you remember a while back, when I said I had a tough decision to make?

[rootandbranch]

[solemnly:]

Of course.

[he wants her to go on, so he doesn't say more, but of course he remembers. it was the conversation where she said they were friends.]

[soulcomet]

[this isn't the easiest thing to say, because nearly everybody else she's mentioned it to has suggested she fix it — rather, do the opposite of what she's chosen to do. but maybe Geir will have a different perspective.]

[turning again so she can look Geir in the eyes,
she holds up her hand, so he can see the ring on her finger.]

I've told you about how my magic from back home works, right? All of the magical energy that I have is in this ring.

[rootandbranch]

I... I don't think you have told me... at least, not why it's important. Your power is here?

[he bends his head to touch the very tip of his nose to her ring, training his senses on it. they're dulled, here, but he feels like he can still catch an echo of her essence there.]

[soulcomet]

Right. Well, even more technically, that's where my soul is.

[there was no other way to say it but bluntly.]

[rootandbranch]

Oh.

[Geir isn't... entirely sure from which direction this is a problem for Madoka. he can certainly see a lot of different ways that could be upsetting, but he doesn't want to assume?

he tilts his head to gaze at her sidelong and ventures:]

Um, it's not a problem for you if it falls off, is it? Or is there some way to keep it on...?

[aside from any other considerations that he might not understand as well, first and foremost, he doesn't want this to be a dangerous situation for Madoka.]

[soulcomet]

It's okay, I take really good care of it. But yes, it is a bit of a problem if I get separated from it.

[they had tested it on Aimintas. after about a football field's length away from the soul gem, the connection to who she is is stretched too thin, and her body simply ceases to function.]

But, I guess what I'm trying to say is, my magic source and my soul are the same thing — and it's not really infinite, I guess? [she can't demonstrate right now that it's a finite resource. that, when she does fight, a piece of her is corrupted.]

That's sort of what I had been struggling with earlier — knowing what I do about it, should I keep using it, or should I try to fix it?

[rootandbranch]

You're using yourself up to use your magic.

[that does put her dilemma from earlier into a new, much less hypothetical context. Geir's first reaction is dismay and defensiveness: of course she should fix it! but that's his reaction as a friend, as someone worried about Madoka, and Geir can recognize that. his real thoughts on the matter are somewhat more complex, and he needs to consider them. he may come to the same conclusion in the end, but it doesn't necessarily mean he should rush there.]

This... isn't the magic you got from Qri, right? That doesn't work the same way?

[soulcomet]

Right — this is the magic that I used back home. Aside from the limitation on it, my healing magic doesn't have any side effects that I know of.

[said as she fiddles with the ring on her finger, thoughtful. she likes to think she's made her decision by now, but she wants to hear what Geir has to say about it, too.]

[rootandbranch]

[Geir wants to hear what led Madoka to her decision too. he's not going to dismiss what she says about it. so his next question is the logical one that anyone would ask, in his opinion; the bluntness of it is pure Geir, a creature who still struggles to find any other way to ask things.]

You know from Qri that there are other sources of power. What about this one outweighs going and finding other ways to help? Why is this special?

[soulcomet]

[it's not an unfair question, and she doesn't seem bothered by it.]

Because it's a very personal thing, I think. When a magical girl makes a contract back home, she agrees to fight in exchange for a wish — she's choosing to trade having a normal life for something she really wants to come true.

[she didn't know what the consequences really were, though — a magical girl rarely does. or, maybe she did? memories are another rather sore subject, but that's something she's keeping much more closely guarded.]

You could say that becoming a magical girl is something that someone does out of hope.

[rootandbranch]

[Geir turns his head to look at Madoka properly, resting his chin on his foreleg to do it. he doesn't know what a magical girl is, but he understands contracts, and he understands the power of perception. Madoka framed the question one way when she asked it before, but it wasn't actually what was on her mind. maybe she didn't realize it at the time.]

So to you, giving up your contract is giving up hope. Even if you did something else later, that helped people just as much.

This isn't really a decision about helping people after all. This is a decision about keeping pacts, and how you feel about yours.

[soulcomet]

Is it? [she hadn't, admittedly, looked at it from that angle, but she always viewed her contract as her decision to leave behind a flawed version of herself — a weak-willed, timid girl who always found herself relying on others for help, and never having anything of value to offer.]

[having the strength to do good for the world was the hope she put into her contract, so much so that the wish she actually was barely even relevant. in Madoka's view, giving that up, even if she found other ways to help, would be inviting that timid girl she's terrified of becoming back in.]

[Geir seems to have a good point.]

You might be right. I just ... I really don't see how I could give it up, even if I found an alternative.

[rootandbranch]

You don't feel like your life or the things you could do would mean anything, without that hope? You wouldn't want to live that way?

[it's a brutal question, but it's asked with a strange gentle sympathy, not accusation. Geir has a pact he feels like that about, too. strangely, he feels more empathy and understanding for Madoka's decision in this moment than he has for a lot of things he's witnessed in the coven thus far.]

[soulcomet]

... I don't know. I just know I would hate to go back to the way I was.

[but it's not a decision for her so much as it is an inevitability. all magical girls who give up on the hope they started with are slated to die as a result — it's the very nature of the soul gems themselves.]

[and she has died a hundred deaths under those rules.]

["The balance between hope and despair — it keeps itself at zero ... Someone has to be cursed to balance out a wish for someone else's happiness. That's how we magical girls work."]

[rootandbranch]

[Geir doodles nervous little patterns in the sand with the tips of his foreclaws, the ones not currently supporting his chin. he doesn't really know what to say.]

...I sort of understand, I think. But I don't like it. Oh, is this how people feel when I'm telling them about stuff...? I don't like it at all.

[that last comment, low and plaintive and under his breath, is almost more for himself than for Madoka.]

[soulcomet]

... I'm sorry, Geir.

[rootandbranch]

[that recalls Geir to himself. he looks at Madoka with concern.]

Noooooo... don't be sorry. I wanted to know!

But, do you really know you would just go back? Or is just that you don't want to take the chance...

[soulcomet]

It's not really something I'm willing to take a chance on, no.

But ... it's all right. I've thought about it a lot, and I've decided that I'm okay with this.

[rootandbranch]

...

[unhappily:]

I feel like I should talk about it more, because it sounds a little like you don't have confidence in yourself? And that seems... wrong. But I don't know if I can. There's a pact I'd do anything for, too.