spellbinders | when everything's made to be broken [open.]

Who: Lalli Hotakainen and ????
Where: Aimintas places.
When: over the week, days 54-57? Ish?
Open/Closed: so open, man.

[ A - MEDITATION. ]

[He's trying to practice mindfulness. It's hard even when you know what it is and the process, so Lalli's finding it almost impossible. His job is to be aware of everything -- every little crunch or rustle or hushed sigh of a predator. Even prey. He was to be one with the forest and all that came with it...or he would fail.

Now he needed to close his eyes and breathe deep. He needed to understand not the world around him, but himself. Why had he pushed his limits as if it was his only choice? Why had he shoved people away when he was afraid of being left alone? Lalli needed to get himself back under control before he destroyed himself and others.

Being able to flip the switch on his Qri-given magic would be a-okay, too.]

Hey. What's your coven ability?

[laziest-sounding interrogator ever...he's trying to be zen, okay!!]

[ B - RITUALS. ]

[He hasn't tended to his wounds. As far as he's concerned, having evidence for himself that he was actually around to help this time was...good. Calming. Besides, as a mage, he has far more important things to attend to.

The Palai don't follow the same gods or traditions as his people do, and it feels wrong to abandon those, but if he could swallow his pride and accept help from an idiot Icelandic mage, he can swallow it again and offer aid where he can to these wandering souls.

The rest of the clean up? ...Not much he can do there, with these twigs he calls arms, but feel free to try and boss him around or tend to his wounds when he's on break from death rites and stuff, or whatever.]

[ C - CUDDLEBUG. ]

[When you're typically repulsed by the human touch -- when every grab to redirect or secure you feels like a rough, deadly vice -- cuddling...does not come naturally to you. Lalli's left fidgeting and scratching at himself, picking apart the weak, fresh scabs forming over the battle's results, because something was off in a way it never had been before. If he'd longed to be held as a child like he wishes now, the memory had long since left him.

He's left with one very obvious conclusion he shares via the signet -- though he also says it aloud in case there's anyone in the immediate vicinity that can help him.]

I think something's wrong with me. Maybe I'm poisoned?

[...Heck. He needs to find Emil and make sure he's okay at least, but... Should he really expose him to this problem? Ugh, quieting fears is so hard.]

[ D - GIVE ME THE WILDCARD.]

[cough.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( The hand will stay, then, as it is welcome. )

I prefer not to use it unless I have to, but it's good if you're far away -- like yesterday! It made finding you much easier. And then talking when you want to talk...not like that will be a problem anymore if you're staying in my room.

( Emil's speech is reinvigorated. It feels like things can be normal, or as close to normal as they can get...which is strange, since Lalli is acting so abnormally. Maybe it's instead his own idealized form of normal, but he'll take it for now.

He retracts his hand again to continue eating, spinning on his stool to look out at the marketplace. ) It looks like the repairs are certainly underway. No doubt we won't be bored once we go out there and get to work.

( Not that he's particularly excited about hard labor -- and his tune will certainly change once he goes out there there -- but today certainly feels like a good one. )

[He hums his assent to both points, going back to his own meal. He eats more than he had their last meal, both refueling his body's energy reserves after burning some on the insomnia magic automatically (automagically?) and savoring this fun experience between them. Which is admittedly getting a little harder to do, with the sobering effect metabolizing has on any chemical change to your body...

Oh well.]

My stuff will probably be weird for you. Are you sure you want to come with me?

[Dead lizards... Crying lizards... Ooky spooky magic...]

( AUTOMAGICALLY

Emil isn't totally ignorant of what happens at a funeral -- he had suggested one for Tuuri, after all -- but he underestimates how much of a downer they are, more focused on Lalli not acting like he's automatically too dumb to understand anything. )

I don't see why not? You invited me, so I'll come along. If there's nothing for me to do, I'm sure I can find something elsewhere.

( As long as there aren't any bones, he'll be okay. )

[I mean...he has no guarantee on the state of the bodies when he goes, but okay... That's a bracket note anyway, so this is good enough for him, and then they eat food and have a fun time and walk on over, probably holding hands again because it's not quite time to think about that.

The time to think about that is mid-sentence as his arms are outstretched, hands hovering like they're holding up something light and flowing, so that he almost drops this intangible thing he's not actually holding. Amazing.

...Not. Amazing. Horrifying? He's probably causing a bit of a stir for the family because of the way his eyes are growing to the size of baseballs and he's stopped speaking -- after all, they've seen him do this kind of ritual a few times now, even if Emil hadn't. Is there a disturbance in the force?

Nope. Just a disturbance in the Lalli. What the actual fuck had he been doing aaaaaa, okay no. Get a grip. Finish the damn job before you flip out about the fact that you watched your best friend undress with the intent of seeing those sweet, sweet muscles, and wanted to press yourself against him. Funeral! Dead lizards! Soul guidance!!! Just a little bit longer...

why is his life constantly a disaster fuck]

...I'm done.

[All souls are on their way, he'll be keeping an eye out since it's not like he's going anywhere, it's fine now let him leave.]

( He certainly hasn't seen it before, but Emil observes the magic with a casual interest. The more intriguing thing is to watch those short lizard folk gather around and watch Lalli with their beady eyes open as wide as they'll possibly go.

The assumption that there wouldn't be much for him to do is an accurate one, but for each family that waddles over he has the opportunity to talk to them a little bit afterward, not letting on how weird he thinks their skin feels when they take his hand and he pats it. An Elto accidentally shocks him slightly once and that's about as eventful as things get.

Anything involving lizard bodies, Emil just looks away from that part. Bones.

He observes Lalli's most recent ritual and notices the pause and raises an eyebrow. After he's done shaking lizard claws afterward, Emil approaches mister magic man to see what the deal is. )

Are you alright? ( It's almost a whisper as he leans in. Maybe something went wrong with that one. ) You looked a little strange in the middle of your ritual.

[Oh no, he's coming closer. Act natural. Oh no he's coming in real close -- Lalli shrinks away, pulling his limbs closer to himself as he tries to put the brakes on the panic he's suddenly dealing with.]

I'm fine.

[HE LOOKED FINE, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, UGH, look at him adoringly, except no, never look at him ever again]

It's nothing. Quiet.

( Wow...some magical thing must have really spooked Lalli. He's gone all rigid and cold. )

Are you sure? You don't look fine.

( The better thing to say would be "You aren't acting as yaoi as you were 15 minutes ago and what's up with that, bro?" )

Take a break if you need to, I'm sure the lizards won't mind.

What does that mean?

[Yes, he's getting hissy and pissy about being told he isn't pretty enough. What do you mean he failed at acting natural?]

Pshht. I said I'm fine. I'm doing something really important, Emil. You take a break.

[your work isn't important you're definitely not important never super duper important and an exception to his need to stay away from people cough]

( Well excuuuuuuse him, princess. )

I know... ( That he's doing something important. Maybe he wouldn't usually feel so stung, but the sharp contrast in his attitude pricks his sudden, vulnerable softness. Lalli had been so agreeable -- this isn't the worst barb, but the spiky tone is coming back. )

You're doing great stuff for them. Just don't push yourself if you don't feel up to it right now. I'm sure the Palai won't care if you wait 10 minutes to gather some energy. ( Yeah, yeah, he's fine. Just let him reassure his workaholic friend he doesn't have to keep going if he doesn't want to.

He tops off that reassurance with a hand to Lalli's shoulder, squeezing it slightly. )

[He starts to calm down. Not a lot, of course, because he can still feel himself reeling from...the withdrawal of sex hormones, good lord, but he can feel Emil's expression and those are awfully nice words. He still likes the words...

So he was starting to calm down before he feels that hand clamp onto him with the amount of welcome as fire on ice. Like ice, he cracks, elbow swinging back into Emil, and he turns and jogs away a few steps. He needs this distance, he hasn't had enough of it, and all that touching is coming back to him in a horrible wave he needs to get away from.]

Don't -- [His eyes feel like they're burning, and he wonders somewhere in the back of his mind whether his glare is as intense as it feels to him. He's not sure if he wants it to or not. He really just needs to get away.] ...Fine.

[He'll take a break. It's a good opportunity to run.]

Don't wait for me. You've...done enough.

[MAYBE IF HE GOES REAL FAST HE CAN RUN AWAY FROM HIS FEELINGS AND THE PAST WON'T CATCH UP TO HIM HA HA, bye loser.]

( The elbow comes at Emil fast, though not too painfully -- the sting is more mental than physical. The daggered look he's being given suddenly only compounds the sudden confusion and tinge of sadness.

Well. He had indeed told Lalli to take a break so he got what he wanted.

Emil can't talk until Lalli's gone, leaving him wide-eyed and barely getting a breath in with the speed of the exchange. He hasn't even put his hand down while he watches him sprint off into the distance.

...What the fuck just happened? )

Bye...? ( He says stupidly with no one around to hear him except a gaggle of lizards that are standing around gawking at the spectacle.

Emil's a little too stunned to process everything right now. Give him a few hours and he'll have a better grasp on how he feels. )

when everything's made to be broken [open.]

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