[WORLD TWO | THE OTHER HALF]

[spellbindmods]

Who: Others not on the list of the Chosen 12
Where: Around Shehui
When:
Open/Closed: Open to All, though top levels shouldn't be made by Chosen 12 members -- however, direct telepathy links can be sent to Chosen 12 members, and Chosen 12 members can respond to open telepathy prompts. This post is meant more for those who aren't part of the Chosen 12 so they can react with others or plot their next move.

[ While your name isn't on the list that has been circulating, it doesn't mean that you're unaffected by this issue. Did someone you know -- someone you have a fondness for, perhaps? -- wind up on that list? And did they manage to evade the monitors or have they been captured?

You may have the resources to do something about it, or you may want to stay out of harm's way. Either way, changes are on the horizon -- and that horizon is now looming closer than ever before. ]

Comments

[deem]

[9S may not be very concerned with his body, certainly not in the way a human is, but he notices how Jude's hand travels. He regards it thoughtfully for what seems a very long moment of dead silence...

...after which he simply pats the back of his hand]

You're not a very selfish person at all. Something like this is fine.

[Jude's world doesn't have anything like him. And he's the curious, investigative sort just like 9S himself is. Surely that's why he'd want to do such things]

[talim]

[ jude leans over to bury his head in 9s' neck, hiding his deep blush as he nods. his hand doesn't travel any further, and 9s' hand over his is welcome reassurance. ]

... Do you remember that time when we practiced kissing?

[deem]

[The question is what makes his face warm under his goggles, because that gesture is far more intimate to him than a touch is. He still isn't sure that it's alright for him to do something like that.

But Jude is happy, isn't he? If that's the case, it should be okay. He hopes]

...Yeah, I remember. I hadn't thought about it that way, but I guess that's what it was.

[Though there's something embarrassing about it]

[talim]

I haven't stopped thinking about it.

[ he doesn't move an inch, keeping his face hidden. ]

But I want to know how you felt about it. Because for me, it was...

[ he swallows. ]

... something I want to try again.

[deem]

[Where Jude is being incredibly forthright, 9S finds himself reluctant to do the same. The answer is complicated, because his feelings on the subject among so many others related to it are conflicted. He both has autonomy and core programming, and it's a struggle to reconcile the two.

It may be impossible to do so. This thought he keeps to himself as he looks down at their hands]

That's...not something I have much experience discussing. But I like being close to you.

[He always had, and it didn't matter in what way]

[talim]

And it's not something I knew how to bring up at all.

[ jude comes out of his hiding spot to look at 9s, slipping out of his grip just so he can remove his goggles for him and meet his eyes. this seems like something important enough to justify holding his gaze.

that's better. ]

I don't want to pressure you. And I never will. But it's still something I want to... figure out together. It's something that's been on my mind, and...

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy with the way things are. Happier than I ever could have imagined. But.

But...

[ truth serum or not, it's a struggle to get the words out. ]

You really don't think I'm selfish, for wanting more?

[deem]

[Whenever his goggles are off, he always feels exposed. There's something uncomfortable about it, being unable to hide his eyes. They tell more than he likes at times, but at least Jude's question is easy for him to answer]

Of course you're not. Geez, Jude.

[Where does all that worrying even come from? He'd rather be made aware of how Jude feel than otherwise, though they don't have time to do much about it while they have people to save.

Strange concoctions aren't something they have much control over, so the timing can't be helped]

[talim]

Geez, yourself.

[ jude presses their foreheads together with a slight chuckle, tangling their fingers together and squeezing. ]

I should let you get back to your work, but... Can I ask you one more thing?

[deem]

[He should get back to work, it's true, much as he enjoys Jude's company. Likewise he"s worried about whether talking so openly is the only effect that foreign serum had.

Maybe he can get Jude to stick around while he works, just to be safe. But first there's his question]

You can always ask. Why would I say no to that?

[talim]

[ jude just gives his hand a tighter squeeze in response to that. ]

Will you kiss me?

[ he... doesn't think he's ever explicitly asked before. it just sort of happens. and that's more than okay with him.

right now, though... that's all he wants. ]

[deem]

[9S recalls a time when Jude asked him this before, but the circumstances were vastly different. Now that he better understands hi own sentiments, warmth stains his pale cheeks and he glances down at his knees]

You don't...usually ask...

[And the pointed nature of it proves sufficient to fluster him. His poor black box]

[talim]

[ his poor black box indeed. ]

You're right. I don't.

[ jude keeps their hands tied together, but cups his cheek with the other, thumb brushing over delightfully flushed skin. ]

So can you make an exception?

[deem]

[For just an instant, 9S finds himself grateful that Jude isn't quite this frank on a general basis. It might be a bit too much for a unit like him otherwise.

And no goggles to hide his reactions just makes it all the more difficult]

...So long as you don't take any more foreign substances just to see what they do. Fair trade?

[He doesn't need to set a condition, and he'd oblige anyway. No doubt Jude will recognize that, but it helps to distract from how exposed his face feels in this moment]

[talim]

Fair trade. I promise.

[ and jude never breaks his promises. he has to admit that seeing 9s so terribly flustered is a bit of a treat, though. ]

[deem]

Okay. [A pause, and he straightens his posture] ...er, close your eyes then?

[That's what people do, right?

Besides it's harder to do anything when he's being watched like this]

[talim]

9S.

[ jude laughs softly and loops his arms around his neck, pressing their noses together and closing his eyes just as 9s instructed. poor 9s, but this is probably the most endearing thing in the world. ]

[deem]

Now it's 9S?

[A huff of breath escapes him, a soundless laugh as he shakes his head. His nose brushes against Jude's but he doesn't pay it any mind, swallowing his nerves.

It still feels like he's on the spot, in a situation like this, but he pushes the thought aside and tips his head to gently press his lips against Jude's.

He still isn't quite sure whether he does this sort of thing right, but...]

[talim]

[ as far as jude is concerned, there's no "right" way to do it. a kiss is a kiss. a kiss from 9s is a kiss from 9s. and that's all he really wants.

jude smiles into the kiss and wraps his arms around 9s a little tighter, dragging one hand through his hair as he presses into it with a tilt of his head. he's kissed 9s enough by now to know how to get the angle just right, and that pleases him immensely.

he hopes returning the kiss is encouraging enough, simple wordless approval. ]

[deem]

[In the past, 9S has kept this contact brief, uncertain of how to handle himself. And he expects to do the same until Jude presses closer. Holds him closer.

He'd wanted something more sustained then, hadn't he?

Far from confident in this area, 9S remains furtive, lingering for a time and then breaking that contact]

I...even when you speak this plainly, I'm not sure what you'd want.

[It's a quiet admission, soft enough it might go unheard if they weren't so close]

[talim]

That's okay.

[ jude rests his chin on 9s' shoulder, close enough to speak into 9s' ear. ]

That's okay.

[ he says it again, to reassure him, sliding one hand down to rub his back and keeping his other arm hooked around him. ]

It's not just about what I want. I'm guessing it's likely that, on an ordinary day when I didn't try any strange substances in the name of medical science, I wouldn't be this upfront. That doesn't make these admissions any less real, but...

Above all else, what I want is what you want. That doesn't mean I don't have my own wants, too, but above that... I'd be happy enough just being by your side.

[ he breathes out a shaky huff of air, surely tickling 9s' ear. ]

You've given me so much more than you realize already. So if this is too much...

[ he trails off. it really is okay. jude means every word of it. ]

[deem]

[9S would never have imagined himself in this situation, before it became a reality. He'd longed to live among humans, to be accepted and valued as any android would. Perhaps more so, for all that he had so yearned for closeness.

But now he has it in a form he hadn't ever anticipated, and even after time has passed, he still finds himself fumbling for what to do. It's a strange thing, and it comes unnaturally to him as it would to any android. They revere mankind.

9S bites his lip. He wishes he could tell Jude why he focuses on what he wants. Because, he thinks, making him happy is what makes this okay. As okay as it can be when his inherent inferiority is so glaring to him.

He knows Jude would disagree, but it would upset him too, wouldn't it?

So would figuring it out himself and not hearing about it from him first. It's happened before]

It's not that. I just... What if I make a mistake? I don't want to do something that you didn't like or want, or make you unhappy. If I did, would this even be okay?

[He looks down at his knees as he speaks, and keeps his gaze there]

[talim]

Nines...

[ he rubs his hand up and down the arch of his back again. ]

Look at me.

[ and then his other hand cups his cheek, tilting his head up to meet jude's eyes. he knows 9s must feel vulnerable, but this is important. he wants him to understand. ]

If you did something I didn't like or didn't want, I would tell you. We would talk it over. And the same goes for you. If I ever do something that makes you uncomfortable... I need you to tell me.

Communication is important. So is honesty. And I trust you.

[ a pause, grazing 9s' cheek with his thumb. ]

Everything will be okay. Will you trust me?

[deem]

[It's a difficult thing, looking Jude in the face without his goggles on. While having a conversation like this. But he tries, because it was asked of him]

I do trust you. But most of the time, I think you're more worried about others than yourself.

[And that's something that worries him too. Jude might accept or tolerate more than he should. Even now, he can be frank because of whatever he took...]

You're only ever kind to me, making me uncomfortable seems pretty impossible.

[talim]

I'm kind because I want to be; not because I have to be.

And perhaps that's true. But aren't you the same? You never put yourself first. On the off chance that I do ever make you uncomfortable, if you deliberately kept it hidden because you thought it'd spare my feelings... Well, that's what would hurt me.

I don't want to do things you don't want to do. It's that simple. Relationships mean compromises.

[deem]

That's...

[Difficult to answer. It seems like a substantial compromise that Jude is pursuing a relationship with a unit like him at all. Should he really have to bend more than he has?

Somehow it doesn't seem right. But they seem to be worried about similar things, except that one stands out to him]

Don't you sort of guess what I don't want to do?