spellbinders | take a walk outside your mind

Entry tags:

take a walk outside your mind

Who: Madoka and Dirk
Where: Somewhere near the coven's house
When: Day 28 (8/4), not too long after the meeting
Open/Closed: closed

[to say that her time on Aimintas has been rough would be an understatement. Madoka doesn't want to admit that for a while, she felt the same way she did the first 14 years of her life: weak, unsure of her own capabilities, and nearly frozen between her desire to help and what helping actually means for her.]

[but then, several people — people she hasn't even known for a month — were there. they pulled Madoka up, they pushed her forward. they showed her a kindness that she wasn't expecting ... but in retrospect, maybe she should have.]

[Madoka only hopes she wasn't relying on Dirk's kindness too much, when she asked him to speak in private after meeting to discuss the impending Uvi invasion. she's standing a ways away from the entrance to the coven's house, staring off at the city in the distance. waiting for him.]

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[For Madoka, Dirk was more than willing to make time. He still hates what he told her, hates the truth of it. In idle moments, he often turns his thoughts over the problem and seeks a way to solve it. But the risks are so high, the cost of failure so great. What if he destroys her soul? What if he makes it worse?

The least he can do is come to her when she calls. Seeing her in the meeting house today was another reminder of her bravery. Determination, a willingness to do her best no matter what. It reminds him so much of Jake, Roxy, Jane—of his Bro and all the rest. Hope and strength in the face of despair.

He didn't stand a chance.

Dirk joins her as soon as he can, shades on and expression neutral. But his eyes flicker over her behind his glasses in search of injury and his powers reach out instinctively to check on the state of her soul.]

What's up?

[He needs to get better at talking to people.]

[Madoka doesn't mind. if anything, she finds it a bit endearing — he almost reminds her of Homura, in a sort of nostalgic way that feels like a lifetime ago.]

[she's perfectly fine physically, but it's obvious that she's been using her magic, at least to a small extent. there's a portion of her soul that probably feels fractured. tainted.]

I was hoping you could help me with something? I know I might be asking for too much with this, so ... you can say no if you want.

[He feels that little bit more fractured, splintered, hurt. It makes something in him ache, the part of him that is God of keeping souls in order, he thinks—but he has misjudged himself. The truth is that it hurts his heart.]

I won't say 'no' at least until I hear what it is. I honestly don't expect that you'd ask for anything I'd refuse.

[Dirk had doubted his own kindness, back in the cave outside the city. she had seen it anyway — and right now, she sees it more clearly than ever.]

[wordlessly, Madoka steps closer, Soul Gem suddenly in hand. she takes his hand — gently places the Soul Gem on his palm. satisfied, she takes a few steps back.]

[it's a significant gesture — she has, quite literally, placed her life in his hands. there is no higher level of trust that Madoka could give to someone.]

... If I'm going to do this ... I need to know what my limits are. [she pauses.] I know you said you might be able to help fix whatever's getting corrupted when I use magic. Do you think you could try?

[Its weight is so much more than the pressure in his hand. He feels it, against his skin, against his soul. And the flickering corruption.]

It could go wrong. I might destroy your soul instead. You could lose everything that makes you who you are. Or I could destroy an important part of you and leave you irreversibly changed.

[He isn't refusing. But he won't go forward unless she is sure.]

[it's terrifying. but somehow ... turning her back on it, rejecting the hope she had when she fist contracted to begin with, seems worse. Madoka can't, for the life of her, not try to do the right thing. and so here she is, at the mercy of her own magic.]

I don't know if I have any other options. [unless Dirk's thought of one.] But ... I trust you. Whatever you decide to do.

[It's more trust than he deserves. Still, he can't refuse.]

I'll do it. The only other option I could think of was to test if you can use your own healing on the gem itself. [He hadn't mentioned it in the meeting because he wouldn't bring it up in front of everyone. He doesn't know if she would have tried it already herself or not.]

[it goes unsaid, but her answer to his suggestion is obvious in the sheepish tilt of her smile. it crossed her mind. she tried it. for reasons she can't articulate, it didn't work. maybe it actually is a limitation on her healing magic, but she doesn't necessarily consider it that way — the very last person Madoka tends to think to heal is herself, after all.]

[she straightens a bit.]

... Will it hurt? [she doesn't ask out of fear. Madoka wants to know if she needs to brace herself.]

[So that isn't a choice either. There is no way forward but this.]

Honestly? I don't know. What I did before hurt, but that was ripping a soul out. This is new territory.

[They're still outside the coven house.]

We should try this somewhere private. Especially if you'll need to lie down after.

[he has a point. privacy isn't a luxury they have at the house, but until now, Madoka hadn't really felt the need to seek it out. it's been nice, having all the people she cares about so close by.]

Maybe there's an empty building or something nearby?

[Dirk might have a better idea than she does.]

[He takes a moment to consider.]

Hang on one second.

[He flashsteps inside. In a moment later, he is back.]

I shoved a bed in my sylladex. We can pick a rooftop and try it there.

[... the wonders of the sylladex will never cease to amaze her. not even when she's from a world where magical girls can stuff infinite bazookas inside a tiny shield.]

[Madoka still looks a little bit amazed when she finally nods.]

That sounds good. [she will. lead the way to the nearest tall building that she thinks will be best hidden from curious passersby on the ground. and, once she's found an adjacent alleyway, she stretches briefly, then proceeds to hop right up to the rooftop, kicking off the nearby building as she goes.]

[Sylladexes are truly silly. Once they get up top, he drops the bed back down so Madoka can sit on it.]

Okay, if you just settle down, I'll... ['Give it a try.' Shit, that sounds stupid. Give it a try on her soul. What a dumb idea.] I'll do it.

[He has to. She needs this. Dirk told her, once, that he doesn't deal in hope, and that's true here too. He doesn't hope that he can do this. He just needs to. The alternative is unacceptable. He has to help her.

He feels it in his hands, alive and damaged. He can almost feel his power wanting to read into it. He holds back. He wants her settled, safe.]

Edited 2017-08-08 01:56 (UTC)

[it'd be strange if she wasn't anxious right now, as she settles herself down on the bed. but she hopes she's masking it well enough when she lifts her head to look at him, the tiniest of smiles on her face.]

I'm ready, whenever you are. [she doesn't know what's she should expect, or if she's going to leave this rooftop an entirely different person than she is, like he had warned.]

[but, whatever does happen, she does know one thing.]

... I'm really happy that I met you, Dirk-san. I don't think there's anything you could destroy that will change that.

[It feels like she has reached in and gripped a piece of his heart. He is paralysed, in that moment; his lips parted just a fraction, his eyes widened behind his shades. He opens his mouth to answer, and stops. He doesn't know what to say.

So he doesn't. Dirk reaches into her soul with the doubled powers granted to him: Prince of Heart, destroyer, and he finds that corruption and knows it, understands it, feels it to his core. He feels the fractures and in that moment he understands what they are, and he knows her corrosion as his own.

He lets his power wind around it, lightning threads, and he destroys it.

But when Dirk looks at Madoka, he is terrified that she will regret the words she said before he began.]

[she had felt it: a burning and twinging sensation that rose from the pit of her stomach into her chest, where her soul might have been, if it weren't in Dirk's hands. unconsciously, she bunches a handful of the bed's comforter in her fist, bracing herself for it to get worse —]

[— and then, nearly as suddenly as it had started, it stops. Madoka blinks, and returns his gaze, inquisitive. had it worked?]

It's gone.

[But he sees the twisting of her hand and he immediately moves to her side. He pauses, though, because he has no idea what to do if an injury isn't physical. Do you put a hand on someone's forehead? Fuck, no, wait. That's for fevers. What do you do? FUCKDAMMIT]

Are you okay.

[It's flat and quick and there's an edge of terror under his steady monotone. Her soul feels fine but what if he's wrong?]

It's gone? I'm ... [she's fine. the corruption is gone, her magic — her soul — is restored. he did it.]

[Dirk has saved her life. Madoka doesn't know where to even begin formulating the words to thank him. it feels like her limbs are moving on their own when she sits up, slides off the bed and wraps him up in the biggest hug she's ever been able to muster.]

[and, the weight of the terror, of the burden she'd been carrying on her shoulders for the past week and a half, dissolves into tears — tiny little sobs into his shirt.]

[Movement towards him—attack—no—a hug??? Shock is already washing through him and then he feels her sobbing, hearing it slight, and it shakes him even deeper. His arms freeze, open, unsure, and then slowly move forward. He's hesitant as he brings one around her, even more so with the other. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how these work. But she's crying and holding him and he thinks it's okay.

He thinks she might be okay.]

[hopefully this isn't too awkward for him, because it isn't until she's run out of tears, worked through the relief, that she finally lets go, and she immediately lifts her hands to her eyes to scrub at her eyes.]

I don't ... I don't know how to thank you.

[he's given her hope again. suddenly, the path she's taking — one she would have taken regardless of whether her Soul Gem could be cleansed or not — seems longer. knowing what she is, Madoka figures that her story will probably end sooner rather than later, but ... at least now she can stay here, with her friends, helping her friends, a little bit longer.]

You, uh, don't have to.

[He wonders if he should offer her a cloth for her eyes? He has none. Crap.]

What I mean is, there's nothing to thank. You deserved this.

What do you mean? There's you to thank.

[but she shakes her head with a smile, reaching up to quickly swipe away one last tear that escaped.]

It wouldn't feel right if I just got up and left without saying anything ... So thank you. You've given me another shot at this — a chance to do the right thing, by you and by everybody else here.

I promise you I won't let you down. [he's a god, maybe, but she hopes Dirk knows that he can count on her for anything — and she'll be doing her absolute best to protect him.]

[It makes him want to hug her again. It feels like a weird thing, something she wouldn't want from a stranger, so he doesn't. (He is an idiot).]

You're the one who took the risk. Don't... worry about lettin' me down. I can't imagine it.

[Not from Madoka. Madoka will try so hard it will break his heart, but she won't let him down.]

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