[CLOSED] HYVÄÄ SYNTYMÄPÄIVÄÄ!!

[enflame]

Who: Lalli, Emil, Akira, Dirk, Jude, Ruby, whoever they want to bring, and Lisko!!!
Where: The garden on the recreation floor of the Shehui apartment building everyone’s in.
When: Dec 2nd OOC
Open/Closed: Closed to invited guests

( Hello, beloved and invited guest! Actually, you likely aren’t beloved and maybe aren’t even directly invited. Anyway! Welcome to the birthday party of the age: Lalli Saku Hotakainen who maybe possibly turned 20 sometime...now...soon? Yeah.

His birthday party reflects how unsure the party planner is of the recipient’s actual birthdate. Some parts of the party have obviously been thought out — for instance, there are three birthday cakes (1, 2, 3) and several gifts already present when you arrive. The chairs and decorations, however, are somewhat mismatched and novice in presentation. You might have enough seats for yourself and your guest, and you may or may not get tangled in some haphazard streamers that are lackadaisically slung in trees. It’s a toss up. At least there are ample plates and about five meat and vegetable snack trays.

It’s a very obviously non-traditional festivity. Also there’s a big lizard there. Have fun. )

Comments

[splinten]

I can handle a zap. [There's a pause, and then the awkward half-confession,] It's easy to fuck up with kids. [WAIT] Shit. Is it okay to swear around them?

[lalliho]

[…oh dear.

Lisko whips their head around to watch Dirk with bright, curious, unblinking eyes before letting loose a Fuck! Fffffuck! They go ahead and add a few harder slaps to Lalli's leg, too.]

...That was their first word. We just got it to stop...

[Lisko's happy, though. Lala! Fuck!]

[splinten]

[Dirk puts his face in his hands. He did it. He broke the child. HE BROKE THE CHILD WITHIN TWO SECONDS OF MEETING THEM.]

I'll go now sorry.

[HE ACTUALLY WILL LEAVE, BECAUSE HE IS A MAN WHO IS TOXIC TO ALL THOSE AROUND HIM

HE MADE LISKO SAY FUCK!]

[lalliho]

[LET LISKO SAY FUCK!! Though now they're happily babbling FUCK LALA loudly, over and over, despite Night Dad's protests. Don't tell people to fuck him, that's rude!!! He doesn't want that! Ugh, children, am I right?

Belatedly, but before Dirk can make a true escape, Lalli drags the lizard baby over to him again.]

You have to teach them a new, good word. It's the rule.

[Is it really? He'll never say.]

[splinten]

[There's a long pause.]

There is no ethical consumption under capitalism.

[That is not a word.]

[lalliho]

[both the lizard and their dad are silent. what the fuck???]

[splinten]

[Dirk looks into Lisko's eyes.]

No ethical consumption.

[Every child needs to know this.]

[lalliho]

[Their nose twitches. Their tail whaps the ground. They know one of those words... A lot of the time they don't pay it any mind. This time, it some gentle and inviting... How confusing. Still, strange shiny eye is doing that whole staring and speaking thing, which usually means that they're supposed to repeat whatever it is they're being told.

No! No esskal.

They did it.]

What does that even mean?

[splinten]

It means that in a system where the means of production are owned privately and exploited for profit, all things produced are created through the exploitation of people and resources without regards for the consequences of the actions. It is impossible to acquire any items made in such a system ethically, because everything you purchase is in some way tied up in exploitation.

So. No ethical consumption under capitalism. Good job, Lisko.

[lalliho]

...I have no idea what you're saying when you talk like that.

[The parts he gets the gist of, that sounds right? Maybe? Lisko's tail wags very seriously. No esskal sssssumshun. Sssumshun!]

[splinten]

Sorry. It's hard to know exactly what kind of shared reference pools to build on.

[Dirk gives Lisko a nod. DOING GOOD PAL.]

No ethical consumption.

[He's Helping.]

[lalliho]

Most of it's that you use big words. Mmn. But it's not...that word, so it's probably fine. Maybe Emil won't know.

[He gets so panicky about their child, it's sweet.

Em! happily chirps Lisko, after being reminded of Day Dad's existence, then continues with their no esskal ssssumshun. Seems to make everyone proud of them. Though they're beginning to wonder just when they get their reward for this. Maybe Night Dad and the Shiny Eye forgot?

Here, they'll open their mouth, wide and expectant. Food, please!! They said the thing!]

[splinten]

So Emil's the one who put a ban on swears.

[He pauses. He looks at Lisko.]

Are they trying to tell us something.

[lalliho]

Mrrh. It might make people think we're weird and doing a bad job. It's understandable.

[Like, Lalli doesn't condone swearing, or anything.]

...Oh. Umm... [Let him just jog over to the table and literally take a handful of one of the cakes. A big ol' glob. It's messy af.

Now he's trying to hand it to Dirk.] Here. It's for learning.

[Very excited no esskal ssssssumshun!! now.]

[splinten]

[what the fuck he has to hold that

Dirk 'two hour shower' Strider stares at that hand a moment. Then, slow, as if in horror of what he must do and yet unable to avoid the crash, he takes it in hand. His jaw is set. Solemnly, he meets Lisko's eyes.]

There is no ethical consumption. Not even this.

[And he holds the cake hand out to Lisko.]

[lalliho]

[They've got your back, Dirk. This shit is On Lock for them. Lisko hisses happily and slurps up this cake chunk, making sure their sluggish tongue gets every last ounce of frosting and crumb. They did such a good job. The best job, even. Lalli is doing the same, except much more casually. He's got class about this eating cake off hands thing.]

…I have a question. […] Are we friends?

[splinten]

[Thanks, Lisko. Dirk stands through that, genuinely impressed, although also feeling the need to wash that hand off. He doesn't think he understands Lisko-saliva enough to destroy it on his hands. Then Lalli asks that question and all of Dirk's thoughts stop in their track.]

I. [Shit.] Yes? Maybe. I don't know? What makes people friendship. [That sentence makes no sense.] I mean, what makes them friends? [While his tone stays monotonous, this is definitely alarmed short-circuiting.] People keep asking me this, like I know what friendship actually is. And I don't. How do you know when you're friends? Is it like, liking being around them, or is it when you're willing to die for them? But like that latter makes no sense because Superman would die for basically everyone. Also Jesus. Although I guess everyone says Jesus is your friend. So is friendship being Jesus?

Oh God I'm making no sense I'm so sorry.

[lalliho]

[oh fuck he broke his new friend (?)

Lalli looks around, then reaches to take hold of Dirk so he can drag him over to a more secluded spot. If he was just as easily thrown for a loop on this subject as Lalli was, then maybe being out of sight, somewhere more natural would be good for him, too...

Okay. Okay, how does he do this. Here, hold onto Lisko and let them lick your face or something.]

It's okay to not know. I asked because I didn't know. Usually...people know more than me. [He's not used to this... Not used to being the one leading and being calm.] I didn't have a real friend until Emil. And then I came here and Akira was my friend. And then I was talking to you now and I liked doing that, and I wondered, and I didn't mind the idea like I do when someone I don't know so much or talk to says they're my friend. That's all. It's okay.

And I don't know who Jesus is. Or Superman.

[splinten]

[The lizard child is liking his face, and Dirk was dragged to safety. What is this world.

He does, actually, calm down a little when Lalli notes he also doesn't know. It's the obvious conclusion—the other two people who asked Dirk seem similarly out of the loop on what constitutes friendship, so of course Lalli would be in the same boat if he's even asking—but it's still a relief, because sometimes the obvious conclusion seems impossible.]

Jesus is a religious figure, known as the Son of God, who supposedly died in order to redeem humanity of their sins. Superman is a guy from stories who protects people and likes apple pie. [He doesn't know if Superman likes pie but he's pretty sure that's part of his The American Way thing.

That was rattled off automatically. It is Dirk's comfort zone. After that, he says,]

Yeah, okay. That sounds good. Friendshipwise, I mean. It sounds like we probably are friends. If that's what you want to be.

[lalliho]

[He waits patiently, staring but not expectant of anything as Dirk rambles. So this was how the kid coped in this kind of situation... He feels a little gross for finding it such a fascinating process to witness, but it's not something that can be helped. He's spent his life watching people rather than being one.]

I don't think Jesus would be my friend. I worship different gods. Apple pie is good, though.

[Just take these gentle facts and process them, know he's listening. Stay in that safe zone, but know you're not alone. That's all he ever needed.]

[splinten]

Jesus is everyone's friend, except when it's considered politically expedient for him to be otherwise. I've never had apple pie.

[Dirk feels calmer now. Apple pie-deprived life or not, he thinks he has this whole scenario covered. Lalli wants them to be friends, so they can be friends. That seems okay? Dirk doesn't want to rip his heart out of his chest and stomp on it in order to spare Lalli from the smallest feeling of unhappiness, but maybe that's also okay. Maybe friendship doesn't have to be that extreme. Maybe it can be a kind of calm comfort, without emotions so intense that sometimes you think you'll suffocate on them.

It's kind of nice.]

[lalliho]

[It sure is nice to consider a friendship that isn't so destructive. It suuuure is. That Jesus friendship stuff sounds Fake, though.]

I didn't have apple pie until here. We don't have a lot of fruit in Finland. I think one of the cakes has fruit?

[splinten]

There's fruit cake. It is supposedly the worst case.

[lalliho]

[what]

But cake is good and rich people like fruit.

[splinten]

In every movie ever made, fruit cake is the shitty cake the relative you hate brings you at Christmas, thereby proving to the audience and the world at large that they're the literal worst.