[A few thoughts cross Dirk's head. One, in contradiction to what he just said to Geir, is that he shouldn't rely on people. Another is that Geir would actually be good at this. The third, which presses into his chest, is, I don't want people to hate me.
Because his stupid ideas are awful. They're hateful and unforgivable and bad. He doesn't want people to see them, to know them, to know him. He doesn't want to be alone again and sometimes he feels like he never stopped being alone, that he never left that apartment in the middle of the ocean with nothing that moved except seagulls and the things he programmed, and if people realize who he really is and what he's really like then he will be alone again and he can't survive that.
It's irrational, and he hates how irrational it is. Geir has already proven that Dirk won't drive him away with his bullshit. And this really is a good idea.
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Because his stupid ideas are awful. They're hateful and unforgivable and bad. He doesn't want people to see them, to know them, to know him. He doesn't want to be alone again and sometimes he feels like he never stopped being alone, that he never left that apartment in the middle of the ocean with nothing that moved except seagulls and the things he programmed, and if people realize who he really is and what he's really like then he will be alone again and he can't survive that.
It's irrational, and he hates how irrational it is. Geir has already proven that Dirk won't drive him away with his bullshit. And this really is a good idea.
He still doesn't want anyone to know.]
Hey. Can I do something kind of stupid?