[Geir considers that idea thoughtfully. there's a lot to tease apart there.]

Umm... I'm not sure if this is just me not following all the way... but you started talking about two different things as one thing somewhere in there. I think.

All the bad stuff that happened, was it when you were trying to practice being someone who you weren't good at being, or was it when you were being Dirk and embarrassed about it?