( Lalli is relaxing visibly, but Emil doesn't feel any of the sleepiness he'd indulged in earlier, despite the fitful sleeping he'd tried to do. Instead that prickly sensation in his skin returns -- Lalli has a way with saying something that he thinks is supposed to make him feel badly, but instead it starts up that odd feeling in his flesh.
...Of course, Lalli had just given him such a supreme compliment that it was hard not to feel a little palpitation about it. His usual ego-stroking giddiness instead feels more like something that sticks in his chest. The instinct to pat himself on the back for it is missing and replaced with that mysterious shy embarrassment.
Maybe if he can't touch Lalli, he can at least touch the blanket that still cocoons most of him. Emil pats an odd spot in the blanket with an awkward hand, not sure what of Lalli is underneath it, but he feels like it gets his emotions across. Hopefully this doesn't result in something horrible. )
I'm sorry.( There's so much he can respond to with half of it making the words catch in his throat and his brain, but the natural response to 'I feel bad' is simply that. )I don't want you to feel bad, but I'm happy that I can help you somehow. Even if it hurts.
( Revisiting that...that's does hit him a little harder when he thinks about it for himself. He superficially understands the hurt and fear that comes with what happened to Tuuri, but he knows they've talked about this before. Frustration comes with not being able to be as reassuring as he wishes he could be. )
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...Of course, Lalli had just given him such a supreme compliment that it was hard not to feel a little palpitation about it. His usual ego-stroking giddiness instead feels more like something that sticks in his chest. The instinct to pat himself on the back for it is missing and replaced with that mysterious shy embarrassment.
Maybe if he can't touch Lalli, he can at least touch the blanket that still cocoons most of him. Emil pats an odd spot in the blanket with an awkward hand, not sure what of Lalli is underneath it, but he feels like it gets his emotions across. Hopefully this doesn't result in something horrible. )
I'm sorry. ( There's so much he can respond to with half of it making the words catch in his throat and his brain, but the natural response to 'I feel bad' is simply that. ) I don't want you to feel bad, but I'm happy that I can help you somehow. Even if it hurts.
( Revisiting that...that's does hit him a little harder when he thinks about it for himself. He superficially understands the hurt and fear that comes with what happened to Tuuri, but he knows they've talked about this before. Frustration comes with not being able to be as reassuring as he wishes he could be. )
I hope one day it doesn't, though.