[It's for the best. Not only is he hypersensitive to comforting touches right now, he needs to learn to take into consideration the other party. It hurts for now, but he'll grow. Kind of hard not to when right now, all he's doing is shrinking.
...Why was everything so hard?]
It isn't. It's not my fault, either! [Stop blaming him for shit he did...! Yeah, no, the realization makes him go cold, and he shudders as he presses his hands harder against his ears. He needs to think. Really think, but how was he supposed to get all this worked out on his own? How was he supposed to learn to open up enough that he doesn't feel like he has to?] I'm... Muh!
That's not why I'm avoiding you! [He's able to get that out, but the next words catch. Thankfully...] I liked it but I don't do that, what if I do it again, what if I made him do it, something made me do it, it was really nice, stupid weird things happening around me again, I'm too weird, I told him this was a mistake...
[Or maybe not so thankfully, because that was kind of a mess he's still in the process of cleaning up that Emil is now privy to, sooooo.]
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...Why was everything so hard?]
It isn't. It's not my fault, either! [Stop blaming him for shit he did...! Yeah, no, the realization makes him go cold, and he shudders as he presses his hands harder against his ears. He needs to think. Really think, but how was he supposed to get all this worked out on his own? How was he supposed to learn to open up enough that he doesn't feel like he has to?] I'm... Muh!
That's not why I'm avoiding you! [He's able to get that out, but the next words catch. Thankfully...] I liked it but I don't do that, what if I do it again, what if I made him do it, something made me do it, it was really nice, stupid weird things happening around me again, I'm too weird, I told him this was a mistake...
[Or maybe not so thankfully, because that was kind of a mess he's still in the process of cleaning up that Emil is now privy to, sooooo.]